Friday, April 28, 2006
breakthrough
Today can be considered a traumatic day 4 me...i actually cried in front of my tutorial group!!!..we were having e mental health nursing tutorial..and one component is to come out with some structured activities..we didnt exactly go according to e book..e lecturer jux came in and got us to sit in one big circle..title of e 'game'..is opening up our windows..first she got everyone of us to say out our own strengths.. seems easy but can be quite difficult too..i mean not all ppl will tink veri highly of themselves..thus..i had some troubles saying it out..plus i was e 5th one i tink (including e lecturer)..so i jux said.."i can understand things veri fast..and i will help if anyone approaches me (actually i meant academic wise)..and i am a good listener...but i can only listen..haha"..yup..tt's all i said bout my strengths la...really cant think of anymore in such a short time..then everyone starts saying their strengths..and some of theirs are really good..tt i sorta admire..but well different ppl are good at different things ba..like i am good in music..but i am gone case in drawing...haha..After everyone had finished..we started again..in another direction..this time is say our weakness...actually to me saying weakness mayb much easier...i mean..we noe veri well ourselves wad r our strengths and weaknesses..but to say strength out is like boasting (of cos we dun meant tt in this tutorial)..and to say weaknesses is more like being humble..so everyone starts to say out their weaknesses..upon hearing them..suddenly realise tt life is not so perfect like we tink it is...and honestly when hearing others..i already had tears in my eyes cos i noe how they feel..maybe i am like tt oso ba..then when it comes to me..i only say one sentence.."i dun noe how to express myself well..."then dunno why my tears start coming...aiyo..so paiseh..havent even come to e main point i wanna say already cry le..reasons why i cried..hmm..mayb (1) i already had e urge to cry when listening to others (2)1st time having so many ppl to listen to me, really not used cos normally is i listen to others (3)i am truely facing e greatest 'problem/fear/pain' in my heart....then i continued saying.."others may tink tt i am not sociable"...then i cried again...dotx..so during my turn..i only said these 2 incomplete sentences......
nevertheless..nvr mind..i am gg to finish myself now and here...to end everything and move on..actually what i intended to say during class jux now is: My weaknesses are tt i am not very confident and i dun really noe how to express myself..so everytime when friends come to me with their problems..all i can do is only listen..even though in my heart i can feel what they are feeling..i jux dunno how to console or advice them..n i really felt guilty and regretful..oso..when facing ppl i am not close with..i dunno how to communicate..so i will mostly keep quiet..too quiet tt even i myself tink tt i am veri anti-social..and i will always keep all problems to myself..i wont say it to anyone..i wont say it here too..even how much lousy i feel..how angry i am..i will not express it..and lastly..i dun like to repeat myself..hmm..wierd weakness ba..but i really dun like to say things 2/3 times...i will feel very frustrated lorx..so unless is very important..if not if anyone cant hear me..i will not say it again...hmm..actually depends on mood oso la..if tt day i dun feel very good..i mayb more frustrated ba..plus horx..sometimes i too forgetful le..jux say only i 4got le..so mayb sometimes others may misunderstood tt i dun wanna say things to them..but is i really forgot le!!
aniwae...tt event is over le..and i am ok now..so i shall 4get this embarrassing incident..i really dun wan to cry de lorx.. :( so pls dun bring this up again..yeah..long weekend this time..can hav a nice nice nice sleep...oh ya..i tink renfu back in taiwan le..4 a few days only ba..then dunno when xiezhi new book selling in spore..kino import should be quite fast de ba...but i shall wait patiently..(seems like i hav a lot of patience for 56)..haha..ok..this blog is veri de lengthy le..shall end here..bye:)
(supposed to be his greatest limits in front of a cam..
naked except a skin coloured underwear..
+ a lot of bubbles..)
(ahhh...why 56 all become like this..one renfu still not enough mehx??)
(joking of cos)
17:09
0 comments