Shi Hwee

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

monga

watched monga on monday...just got an urge to watch it after so many ravings all around...even in hong kong i can see big big advertisments hanging around everywhere...well...actually i dun quite understand the whole show...as in i know what is the plot storyline etc..but what exactly are they trying to tell us?? i really dunno...a lot of 粗口 which i dun understand...原来我们混得是义气,不是黑道...so what that means??...混得是义气,但始终被义气出卖?confusing...

aniwae...in e end i havent pick up e phone and call yet...i guess i am not only a failure but a loser as well...dun even have e strength and courage to call..just watched mayday's 摇滚本事纪录片..it says..dreams have wings..所以我们要追着梦想跑,才能成功。但我想问,如今梦想已破灭的我,要朝哪个方向前进呢?

14:26


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dampened spirits

I think i am just too over confident regarding my application to NIE for bsc...up till now still havent got any letter of offer even though i went for the interview like 3weeks ago...which is very long...after reading through threads in forums...i guessed i probably had failed...well...i think i will just still give them a call tmr to find out the application results...get them to tell me directly in my face that i failed ba...rather than me still 傻傻的 waiting for their reply either by sms or mail...checking the mail box everyday like nothing...i feel so stupid...well...i admit i am very sad now...99% i did not get in ba...because i think most ppl already gotten their offers...either by sms or mail le...i guessed i just need to call and get the confirmation that yes u failed to get in...hmmm..first time i really feel like crying...cos this is e dream of mine to get admitted in uni and study what i really like...but i guess all these hopes are vanished now...haix...so now what am i going to do next? i am just too confident that i will get in and thus did not actually plan what to do if i failed...well i did had a plan B..but i dunno...all of these are just too sudden...ha...bad thing of me liking to roam in forums...but well...i guess better to know the results now rather than last minute know then dunno what to do...but final thing is i will still resign no matter what...this is what i have discussed with my mother...just a matter of time now..

though i always like to sing 就算是整个世界把我抛弃 而至少快乐伤心我自己决定 ...but i guess this is not the case now...cos i am badly affected by all i have read...and sadly my emotions are very affected as well...well..give me a few days to recover ba...haix..just leave me alone..i guess everything will be fine by then...let me receive the final blow tmr first ba...depending on what answer i get tmr ba...if is confirmed failure...i guess i will resign sooner...then faster look for a new job and do what i want to do!

aniwae...just when i thought i am recovering from the appendicitis...the pain is coming back again...increasing in frequency...hmmm...i think my bad mood had affected everything...and also my non compliance to antibiotics ba...what to do now??...i hope the pain wont get worse...if not next thing tmr i will visit the a/e as well...haix...let me have a good night sleep...but i doubt so...cos i am really feeling very very sad...

00:27


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Sunday, April 25, 2010

happy birthday MASA!!!

Masa's birthday today...haha...i think i rarely post re:mayday's individual bthday ba...just a coincidence today that i am at home...and just a coincidence that i just watched the dna concert again...special comment re:masa's solo...suddenly feels that this song is very sweet...especially when he sang 我想我是真的愛妳 ...so sweet...hehe...aniwae...happy birthday to masa...although he doesnt like others to say that to him..hehe...well...i think it is a trend that when ppl grow up, they will also grow to dislike gg through birthdays...but but but...even dislike..i think in his heart...there must still be this portion that is happy when ppl wish him...happy birthday...haha

我是真的愛你 (詞曲: 李宗盛)

曾經自己 像浮萍一樣無依
對愛情莫明的恐懼 但是天讓我遇見了妳

我初初見妳 人群中獨自美麗
妳彷彿有一種魔力 那一刻我竟然無法言語

從此為愛受委屈 不能再躲避 於是妳成為我生命中最美的記憶
甜蜜的言語 怎麼說也說不膩 我整個世界已完全被妳佔據
我想我是真的愛妳
sweet lyrics...sometimes old songs are very nice and touching as well...maybe even more real and touching...aniwae...went to dr today...had this vague pain over right abdominal area for 4days le...haix...dr say is appendicitis...i am not so sure...cos i only have this vague pain...not very severe not affecting my life...just a concern that it is the first time i am having such pain...aniwae..he say now is not serious as well..if after meds not well then need to worry...in e end..i have this 4hourly abx to take...boo...cefalexin and flagyl which i dunno why need to take also...but i will be a good gal to take...4hourly is irritating..cos i am not a very timely person..and cefalexin sux to max...arhx...it is so awful to take...bad smell...makes me want to vomit..aniwae..lets hope everything will be fine after this course of abx...2days..haha...if not i have this letter to a/e...boo..i dun want it..i dun want any surgery...pray hard pls

18:02


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Saturday, April 24, 2010

joker

什么是最可悲的?

所有人都相信你所说的谎言,当有一天你觉悟了想讲真话,却没人相信。

越是喜欢说笑话的人,其实内心越是不快乐的。

我想这是我有史以来说过最真的话,哈哈不好笑。
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我深信着我所看到的一切,我高兴活在我自己的世界。

即使有人说我不该只活在自己的世界了,我依旧不肯走出来,因为我不想永远都找不到属于自己的纯真与笑容。

我的世界很简单,却没人明白。外面的世界很复杂,我因为明白了,所以才把自己封闭起来。

与其让我在踏入你们的世界,为何你们不来了解我的世界?

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不懂此时的我在想些什么,无法安静思考,真烦。安静的四周,越是凸显了我吵闹的内心。真烦!

我依旧同意那句,长大是人必经的溃烂。

所以我仍然不想长大。

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ok..enough of the above...enough of emo stuff...time to sleep actually..i think i need to adjust back to normal sleeping time since work is commencing soon! ...but hor...i am working night shift next week lehx...so how..should i adjust or not adjust back??..haha...good qn...i am so enjoying my life now...eat sleep play watch...do nothing..haha...can this continue on longer??...dream on i know...but i think maybe 1-2months more...i should be able to achieve that again...

anyway...things to achieve before start of work

1) post up all HK pics in facebook (highly impossible, cos i just keep failing to upload)
2) finish reading all articles from a website (still have 170pages more ...)
3) finish reading my novel 1Q84 (hopefully, i am not even at chapter 5 of the book...and i am only at part one...still got part two)
4) watch monga
5) sing k
6) finish pasting my photos in my own photobook (definitely must do cos the photos are from last yr!!)

haha...must rush to do the above things now...if not i assume i will procastinate longer...first 3 are actually mission impossible i know...but at least i think i can complete the last 3...also an achievement la..haha...hmm...maybe i should write about things i have achieved this holiday

a) went to hongkong
b) tried on the 类似大怒神 ride, and walked through the scary path at wax museum (quite an achievement...those who know me should now i 怕高也怕黑)
c) went to mayday's concert and jumped almost throughout...(memorable thing is the muddy ground which ruined my shoes)
d) recruit a new mayday's fan may foong
e) rejected my friend's invitation to sing k just because i felt lazy to go out (arhx...regrets...should have gone)
f) cut my hair again! (but no fanciful style or colour or whatever)

ok...keep everything to 6 items first...haha..should really go and sleep now...tmr need to wake up earlier to meet friends...for K...yeah!!!...considered item 5 met!...

02:10


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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

pls be more hardworking

was browsing through my blog entries for this year...sadly to see only a few...for the month of feb..i only had one entry...arhx...i should have been more hardworking to post more entries...this blog is officially in its 5th yr...and yet i only had around 300+ entries...hmmm...seriously...i should update this blog more often ba...because it is really fun to read back entries..and re-live that scene again...certain things will be forgotten even how hard u try to remember them...and that's the use of a camera...and of cos a blog...

i could see that some friends recently are facing difficulties...be it in work...in school..in relationship...in any area...well...who isnt anyway???...everyone definitely has their own difficulties...the difference only being how well the person can handle it?? of cos not all difficulties can be resolved by oneself only...some can be done...some just need the help from others...most of the times...u need help from others not to solve the problem...only to help u reassure urself that u are doing the right thing...every problem will have a solution...and the best solution usually comes from oneself...just like the biggest enemy of yours will always be yourself...some things...u already have the answer in your mind...but only due to certain circumstances...you just refused to acknowledge that...pointing out other's mistakes is easy...accusing others of being wrong is easy...what is hard?? hardest thing is to admit that i myself is in the wrong...well...失落的时候,伸出手希望有好心人能拉你一把,每一个人都会,也是最容易的。但与其伸手渴望别人的救援,为何不伸出自己另一只手拉紧自己呢?坚强是靠自己学来的,不是别人施舍的。勇气是靠自己展现的,不是说说而已。同样的,伤心难过是个人情绪,要从悲伤走出来靠的不是别人,而是自己,只有自己有能力决定自己的情绪啊!悲伤不能被衡量,没有人能说我一定比他还伤心难过,因为每个人衡量悲伤的那把尺都不同。同样的,要怎样让自己快乐只有自己晓得,因为每个人衡量快乐的尺一样不同啊。

well...i know...words easier to be said...i am glad that i have already found a way to relieve myself either from stress or unhappiness or sadness...and i hoped all around me can find theirs soon! ...aniwae...was watching dna dvd 2nd part today...and i actually teared during some parts...haha...luckily i am watching it myself...alone..share a great song here...起来...well..i found it a useful song to pull yourself up..well..at least it does influence me...i am glad that i am easily influenced by these minor things...hehe...not so difficult to cheer me up or encourage me ma..haha..

起来 我要你看得见 再大的风雨 要用力飞
起来 或许你觉得累 记得我 在末日来临之前

海浪在退潮之前 将我消失在泡沫里面
我承受这份孤单 留下脚印在沙滩
远方灯火通明 让海和天一样黑
微风吹动风帆 失去引力向前追

忽然间我才发现 前方灯塔已熄灭
我又被影子 拉回地面
被夜晚冷却的沙滩 快乐悲伤浮在上面
无法抗拒这味道 让空气分割我的脸
忽然间我才了解 就在起飞的那一瞬间
我不能独自在 海上漂浮

于是我闭上眼睛去抚摸 在黑暗中挣扎的光线
于是我又开始这 疼痛感觉

起来 我要你看得见 再大的风雨 要用力飞
起来 或许你觉得累 记得我 在末日来临之前

感觉全身在颤抖 无法用心对齐你我的脚步
太多太快来不及去接受 太多太远太过分执著
鼓起勇气才看见 失去理由

起来 我要你看得见 再大的风雨 要用力飞
起来 或许你觉得累 记得我 在末日来临之前
起来 我要你看得见 再大的风雨 要用力飞
起来 或许你觉得累 记得我 在末日来临之前

personally i find this song encouraging la...wake up wake up wake up...hahaha..suddenly i am thankful to my pri sch cca teacher who made me type so many chinese text...cos..i managed to type out the above lyrics quite fast...lol...out of the point i know...aniwae...songs are great as they reflect a lot of things..it was from mayday that i realised that songs are not just about love...be it happiness or sadness...songs can be very encouraging as well...and positive...sad songs are heart wrenching and touches one heart easily...but listen to more positive songs makes one day better definitely...hehe...main point..i really admire ppl who write lyrics...a song can be telling a whole life story of a person in just 3-4 mins...isnt that 神奇?...i wished i could be a lyricist as well...but i guess i still dun have tt talent yet...maybe if i have the 灵感 i should try to write something as well..haha...but so far..i think i am better in writing longer stories..haha..too naggy...but ya...maybe i should try...
yup...by the time i reached here of my blog post..i have tried x2 to upload photos of hk trip into facebook...and x2 effort failed obviously...damm pissed off now...shall not upload anything more tonight...angry...let me continue my photoshop ba...i want to complete arranging my photobook things for kaohsiung and the recent 417 concert...haha..a bit long ago i know..but no time to do tt..hehe...

22:43


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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

PMS again

i guess it will only be during annual leave time would i be able to update my blog so frequently ba..if not i will definitely be too lazy to do so...but then even though on leave...i am too lazy to re-arrange my photos as usual...haha...still got a few days...maybe...maybe i will make use of the few days to photo shop my pics....so many u know...hahha

just watched dvd 1 of mayday's dna concert dvd...hehe...dunno how many times i watched it le...but is the first time i watched after the unlimited DNA concert...haha...still as high...only watched disc 1 and it took up almost 2hours...shall watch disc 2 tmr instead...time consuming..haha...energy consuming...but it is really so worth it to have this disc..i think it is very complete lor...all the movies...most of the songs except encore songs are all included...high high

loved the talking part of disc one when guai you was saying something like want to have 10concerts in 10 years time and was telling fans to support them...then ashin said 冠佑没骨气,十年后他要开100场(in 小巨蛋)and 刚才冠佑还拜托你们,“我才不管你们呢!”..whoa...only he dare to say such things ba...hahah...but as usual...just a blink of eyes...he said 那一切都拜托你们了...really dotx lor...soooo funny...then also he was saying the main aim of mayday's concert is 让没有买到票进场的人痛不欲生!!!and somemore can repeat 痛不欲生 for many many times...hahhaha...so funny...but i totally agrees...never go to their concert will be a pain as their concerts are always great!!

arhx..all these are tempting me very very very much to go to the KL concert...haha...i wont think about that for now...pls dun..hahaha...aniwae...i am enjoying my times at home...slacking...shall watch every concert vcd/dvd that i have...which is a lot i know...hehe...i want to watch every concert again...haha...but of cos...the one which i like most will still be this dna...cos it is the one which i went before ma...so special memories...especially when they showed scenes of the kaohsiung's one...really...if then i never go i really will be 痛不欲生!

ok..i think all further posts for this month will still mainly be about mayday ba...as well as facebook status etc...cos we are still in the post concert syndrome mood...was reading through all newspaper article reports re:the concert...still felt a bit emotional...especially when i saw someone wrote the rain actually almost destroyed everything ba...except mayday and their fans...sad...but actually...seriously speaking..even we have nothing fanciful...mayday alone with their instruments and songs...plus the fans...will still be 这世上最完美的阵容了!

18:05


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Sunday, April 18, 2010

unlimited DNA part2

Was reading through news thread for the concert yesterday...was a bit upset that i was not understanding enough and was still complaining about so many things yesterday...the big rain had a great impact on e concert actually...and it actually damaged a lot of lightings and sound system...as well as the big bumblebee...all these was fixed or tried to be fixed by the technicians and almost all was recovered before the concert..of cos...not everything can be fixed in such a short time la...thus all these...causing the delay in starting the concert...and of course caused the concert to end too early...all these delays were definitely not mayday's problem and i really should not have said that this concert is not as good...

luckily...before reading the news thread i already posted my earlier post in chinese...hehe...and now...my mood is completely restored to an excited stage...haha...although concert had ended for more than 12hours le...but i am still very high...still excited by the effects of the concert...still want to jump more...post concert syndrome again...and and and..there was the bike performance afterall...just that we are too engrossed in the stage in front of us...the movie...that we never look back...cos all appeared behind the runway stage...boo...and not forgetting the long fireworks show...which caused a big bomb!...the bumblebee was just a 'too bad' ...now thinking back..it did looked funny cos it can only move it's left hand..haha...and cant believe that may foong and emily dunno that ashin was the one imitating the voice of bumblebee..lol...i guess only long enough mayday fans noe that only silly ashin will do such things..haha

and it was really hot and humid yesterday...just after the first section (after 你不是真正的快乐)i was sweating like mad le...really wet thoroughly...can see that mayday also all very hot...except guaishou because cannot see any sweat coming out from him!!! ..haha...but it was really funny that he said that 流了半年的汗水 ...exaggerating...and when ashin said 今晚要消灭一种人 i was like ????? then he said 不快乐的人 i was really like 3 lines down lor...hahaha....btw...they only joked a bit yesterday lor...perhaps their mood had been badly affected by the weather and obstacles ba...but it was really funny to see monster and masa 呛回歌迷...only them will say such things to fans lor...i ganna once before also...so..ya...really funny

song list now...haha..i guess every concert that i go must have a song list...so when i read back then can 回味 ma...haha

春天的呐喊
that is the starting song...it was an unexpected starting song...though it will still be 尬车 lor...the starting movie is changed as well...but i think if nvr watch dna...will not understand what the movie means lor...aniwae...they wore suits and shades...so shuai...haha

爆肝
as per may foong..it is a 'liver' song..haha

赌神
i missed the fire effects in kaohsiung's concert...if here also have will be great...but on 2nd note...it will be way too hot!

夜访吸血鬼
a fave of my sis...but upon hearing this tune...i was high as well...

HOSEE
loved this song la...haha...hosee hosee...i like the feel...

你不是真正的快乐
nice one as ashin hit the notes perfectly

生存以上 生活以下
masa wore that bear head..yeah!!!!...although he was already super wet...hahah

疯狂世界+候鸟
my all time fave...cos the instrumental part had always been great...guitar strumming of guaishou...really great...

一颗苹果
my msn nick..haha

突然好想你
unexpected song to cut into the list...used to be an encore song ma..haha...but it was great and touching as usual

我心中尚未崩坏的地方
“每个孤单天亮 我都以个人唱”had a feeling that a lot of ppl including ashin as well sang very hard for this part...afterall it is a sentimental song

人生海海
把手举高...tt's the 'aim' of this song...again...i think this is a song which only mayday's fans can appreciate...full of 五月天精神 in this song ma..

DNA
摇啊摇啊摇啊摇...haha...this is such a clubby song to me...and this is the song which tt bumblebee appears..haha...

雌雄同体
my fave song...but sadly they were all behind at the runway during this song...cannot see them dance and solo...haha...but i did see guaishou guitar reflecting the green light again...nice

离开地球表面
jump...ya...just jump...my friends' fave

笑忘歌+相信
this is the part...勾勾手盖手印...emily still can tell me why ashin is doing the calling sign...dotx...it is the 约定sign ma...hahah...but i really like how they blended these 2 songs together...very nice...and 相信 is a special song too all mayday's fans ba...although i was not in time then...i still feel the 特别情感 with this song

孙悟空 all crew out
great solo as usual...stone's solo was different as well as guan you's one...and this time ashin did not appear to sing...but it was great too..

约翰蓝侬+我
the orchestra appears...i think the orchestra is from taiwan ba...brought over by mayday...quite little ppl only...but the feel is there

最重要的小事
i still like the images they show on e main screen...despite watching quite a no. of times le...especially the ashin photo doing the ok la sign...brings back a lot of images...

天使
emily's fave..haha...i just like the way how they link this song from prev one...

后青春期的诗
this is a totally surprise for us...the orchestra part is just superb...very nice...

生命有一种绝对
meaningful song...makes me think back the funny part in their dvd when ashin sang this song to 'chase' the fans away...but the words were like 不要走 请不要走

尬车
yeah..finally the song is here...hehe...besides dna...this feel very much like a theme song as well...cannot dun sing de...and sadly this is the 2nd and last hokkien song of the night

恋爱ing
surprised that they did not play the LOVE game this time round...

知足
yup...my personal 领悟 of this concert is to 知足...because 知足常乐!

如烟
ashin sang hard for this song to me...it was nice...and he did not rely on his 第四台..but too bad the lights shooting up the sky effect was not achieved...the light beam simply not strong enough...and too much spot lights on him as well...

温柔 (还你自由版)
i like his 对白..everytime although is similar...but it still touches me...
如果有一天你对我说 你想要一颗星星 那么我就会为你摘下那颗星星
如果有一天你对我说 你想要一朵花 那么我就会给你一场浩瀚无边永生难忘的烟花
如果有一天你对我说 你想要离开我 那么我会对你说我要给你最后的 最美的 最好的温柔
his words are simply too fascinating...haha...cheat young gals..haha..but is very touching la...and really..he gave us all a beautiful show of fireworks...who say fireworks in spore only happen during ndp...just go mayday concert...u can see them as well...

then the concert just end...yup...just like tt...haix...maybe due to time constraints or whatever la...they really never come out again despite our shouts for encore for so long...and this time...we really shout out loud and in unison...aniwae...the ending is too abrupt...and no one believe even after ashin spoke at backstage...everyone just remains...it was until the ppl come and dismantle the whole drumset...kept the guitars then everyone was like...boo...it is really over...quite sad...we are greedy ppl..wanting for more...but i guess they really have their own constraints...knowing mayday's style...they definitely dun want to end like tt as well..aniwae..the whole concert was great...i was totally drenched in my own sweat...the area which i stood on was tramatised by my jumping...haha...

and it was really a great and new experience...my shoes were so dirty from the mud...haha...really soft mud from the rain...small insects flying around...hot and humid weather...just imagine the whole scene...haha...what a different experience...

really looked forward to their next concert...really...

20:39


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unlimited DNA

演唱会结束了,突然有一种莫名的空虚感。每次演唱会结束后都会有这种感觉。因为过于期待,所以一旦期待已过,就会觉得人生好像少了点什么。

昨晚的演唱会,老实说,刚结束时我感到好失望。怎么可能这么短就结束了?我一直都不敢相信一切已结束,就算阿信在后台也说了演唱会已到了尾声,我还是不相信,直到看到工作人员把整套鼓给拆了,我才了解,真的结束了。

第一个感觉是:好短,怎么可能就这样完了?还有好多期待的歌还没唱啊!憨人呢?志明与春娇呢?我好喜欢的那些福建歌呢?

不过,现在回想起来,我应该要知足啊!知足常乐,这是五月天一直以来都在教导我们的道理啊!演唱会已经是很棒的了,我没有一刻不是站着呐喊的啊,我一直都是很嗨的啊!

少了台语歌曲,我们还有超大的变形金刚,漂亮绚丽的烟火秀。其实这些都是新加坡演唱会中非常难得一见的,不过,在五月天演唱会中,我们的有幸看到和享受到了。烟火,真的很美,很壮观。虽然大雨破坏了很多道具也影响了很多原先预定的表演,不过却浇不熄我们的热情!

串场电影很棒,要传达的信息很有意义。人,最终的敌人还是自己。穿着西装,戴着墨镜的五月天很帅,变形金刚更是令人赞叹。

我庆幸自己有参加高雄的演唱会因为我听到了难得一见的万年台语歌,更庆幸自己有参加这一场新加坡难得一见的户外演唱会。超大的舞台,吓人的爆破。

当然,乐队的参与演出也很棒,后青春期的诗第一次听现场版好令人感动,带我们走向更精彩的未来。还有相信,能现场听到相信真是难以相信!好有意义的一首歌,这是只有五月天歌迷才能体会的一首歌吧。勾勾手盖手印,这一刻有约定,那爱情变美丽,因为我开始相信!

总之,我还是很开心有参与到这场演唱会,难于忘怀所有一切,期待下一次五月天所带来的演出。其实,我真的好佩服他们能想到DNA这个演唱会主题,所以下一次的演唱会肯定让人更惊叹!

15:03


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Friday, April 16, 2010

back in sg

YOohoo..i am back in sg le....missed HK's food and cold weather...but i missed SG's food and surroundings even more!!! nothing beats being at home...though i loved travelling...singapore will still be my favourite place cos i just belonged here!

I seriously overspent in hongkong...meaning next week i totally cannot spend or go out shop at all....booo....nonetheless...i got everything i wanted and intended to buy..cosmectics...skin care products...clothes...hehe...so happy...but all costs huge amts to me...haix...

aniwae...i am just too excited to sleep now...hehe...mayday's concert is coming!!!...sooo excited...haha...and also...because the weather is too hot la..haha...i miss the cold cold feel in HK...aniwae...i think i should sleep now...rest more for today...and get high on sat!!!

03:05


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Thursday, April 08, 2010

accepted!

Yeah!!!...i have been offered degree in arts and social science in NUS officially!!!....yoohooo...hahah...just yesterday i am fretting over my interview at MOE because i feel i did not do well...now...i have the offer from another uni...which makes me feel great!!!..at least...if i know 80% will not get into ntu...i still can go this course...only prob is probably i need to take bank loan to study...as well as work part time to study...BUT...i think finance should not be a barrier to me for studying more...yes!!!...i am feeling so high now...although now at this hour no one to share my joy...but at least i can have a sweet night sleep...hehe...

i was just gettting so annoyed over at work that even handling 6patients i need to do overtime until so late...in e end cabbed home...but here when i check the application status...i just feel i am released of all the agony...hehe...happy happy happy +++ ...shall share the good news with my colleagues tmr...i was really worried that i cannot even get into one of my choices...but seems that i am thinking too much...

oh ya...saying about monday...i did so badly in e interview at moe i think...i dun even noe what am i talking about lor...seriously i dun think i can pass e interview...although some friends are telling me no prob de...but really i feel hopeless for this interview...i so wanted to get this cos i really want to try out in teaching...i mean...what u learn is what u will apply to work ma...unlike other courses...graduate also dunno do what....but teaching really interests me in a way lor...listening to other's description...etc...i really hope to get in...

but anyway...now...i got the 2nd option le...so...if i really cannot get into ntu...i will just accept the nus one ba...aniwae...arts and social science is what i like as well...hehe...maybe just need to ponder hard on wat subject to major in...

at last...i am so relieved and happy...and also..countdown of 2 days more to leave and hongkong
!!!!...hurray

and mayday's concert in singapore will have a big transformer robot, orchestra and choir!!!!..whoa...like tt in kaohsiung...i am really looking forward le...banning myself from mayday's songs for 1month plus le...haha...(only in ipod...blah...i still watch their concert in dvd)..aniwae..i am so happy... :):):)

01:02


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Sunday, April 04, 2010

terrified

tmr is the day...i am scared...super scared...

what should i do if i got admitted?

what should i do if i did not get admitted?

i am glad i never told anyone re:this at work...a silent voice in me is saying louding that i should go regardless of the outcome of this...jsut maybe because with the confirmation i can leave with more dignity??...but anyway...i dun think my staying is appreciated at all...so

let's pray hard for tmr...

23:11


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Saturday, April 03, 2010

big day approaching

For the past 1-2 weeks, i had been opening letter box everyday i got home from work...checking email everyday to see whether there are any letter or what for me...finally on mon when i received the sms to go for interview next mon..which is like 2 days later...i was not as anticipating as before le...haix...right now..i am already feeling the stress and uneasiness le...arhx!!!...tried and attempted to rehearse what may happen in the interview...tried to search for things to help in the interview...tried to pre-empt myself of the questions most likely to be asked...but i realised..the more i think the more un-prepared i feel...right now..i can no longer squeeze out any more details from my brain le...standard qns which definitely will come out...i dun even know how to answer le...am i too stress???...but my mind is really in a blank now...and there is no one whom i can get advised from...haix...first time ever i feel this way..first time i felt so lonely...first time i am scared that what if i failed the whole thing???

maybe i should stop thinking about this ba...anyway...e more i think about it...the more stress and blank i feel...i guess i only just take it as it is on that day ba...interview is 4pm...i hoped i can reach on time...cos i am working morning shift...last minute changed also...i decided not to tell anyone in work place re: this...as advised by my mum...she said colleagues are different from friends...i dun want to agree...but i guess this time i should obey...cos i am not confident at all...what if i failed then what to do??...how to tell others then...haix..so better not to dilvuge anything now...wait i even more stress...i think i had a big mouth sometimes...not to other ppl's things...but to myself...dunno why i just feel like sharing everything gg on about me with others...what i like...what i do..what i gg to do...but end up...worse things will happen...i guess not everyone will appreciate what i do ba...so my aim now is just to go along the flow...just say what others say lor...

anyway....most probably this two nights will be sleepless night ba...even day time i think until headache le...what's more at night...now just wish monday faster come...get it over and done with...if successful...then happy lor...i get what i wish and aim for...if unsuccessful...i really dunno how...i think i will be super super sad ba...maybe i am over confident previously to think that i will definitely get in...so now...i still dun have a back-up plan yet...aniwae...i will just leave it this way first...just wish hard first to get in...maybe 2-3weeks after interview i will know the results...until then then decide what to do next ba...

enough about bothering things...next is happy events...AL is finally coming...whoa....6 more days of working...yup..no off in between...then i will have AL for 2 weeks...meaning to say 6 more days before i depart for HK...woohoo...so excited...never been there before...i want to try all the delicious food there...haha...and looking forward to disneyland although i have already been to tokyo one...i want to watch the parade once more!!! maybe my mum is right saying that i am spending too much on travel...thus my 2 years of working earn me $0 in bank...she is right...but to me...it is another kind of experience gained...i may not hav savings due to excessive travelling...but i do gain a lot of knowledge and 'experience' from travelling which others may not have...i may not have money to pursue studies in e near future without any sponsership...but i definitely cannot hold on until now if not for all these travels...thinking back...it may be all these travelling which makes me hold on to my job and live on with a smile until now..so...i still feel i never regret to spend my income on travel...but after this HK trip...i guess i will not take on any long trips le ba...at least for the time being...

aniwae...HK trip is worth anticipating..i wish to gain a whole new experience...and try things which i seldom or never done b4...so yup...HK...wait for me...am coming soon in less than a week!...haha...will be back on april 15th...then rest one day...17th will be another worth anticipating day!!!...super happy for the month of april....17th will be mayday's concert yet again...i think this DNA concert series i watched until can memorise le ba...plus the dvd i have now...can watch countless times le...somehow i think this unlimited version will be somehow different from prev dna concert...which may be more worthwhile la...but some part of me wish it will be similar...cos i really miss last year's concert in action...nonetheless...it is a concert worth anticipating...yeah!!!...and a note...it will be held in national stadium instead!...whoa...i thought tt stadium closed down le lor...and somemore last year guan you did say something like next time they wish to hold concert there...i was still thinking silently no way since it is closed...but now..it is like a dream come true...s.h.e concert will be at indoor...mayday at outdoor...i guess stadium area on tt day will be damm full!!...more than 10000 ppl will be there on tt night..haha...will streets of singapore be quieter then???..haha...i guess i need to go there earlier on tt day...to jalan jalan around...and maybe meet may and emily elsewhere later to dine...i guess the kallang leisure park on tt day will be full to the max...so cannot dine there la..hahaha...so excited...

april is so fun filling to me now...haha...amybe i will make a trip to universal studio in april as well...haha...make full use of my AL...yup...6 more days...fast fast...thinking about these happy events make me temporary forget about the stress and tension which i felt over this few days...i guess i still need more encouragement...which i doubt i will have since i never tell anyone..haix...no choice but to buck up myself...self-encouragement ba...

22:51


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