Saturday, June 28, 2008
GUESS
Thursday was off day for me...went shopping with siying...hehe...i am such a spendthrift...but whatever..as long as i am happy...i guess it is fine...bought a new GUESS bag and wallet...which adds up to like $200+ already...arhx...heartpain...but my mum say it is ok...so...ok lo...haha...
Took a closer look at e handphones which i supposedly aim for...hmmm..decided to change my mind again...so my next target shall be C902 instead...or C905 which is not out yet...both are camera phones..actually...i dont really need camera phone...cos i already hav a cam...but i dun need walkman phone either..cos i hav my ipod...so e possibility of me using the camera phone is higher than using the walkman function...so i guess...camera phone is still a better choice...
actually..intended to change my ipod as well..but after much consideration..is quite a waste to change away something which is functioning 100% ok...and moreover is a gift from my mum..so i guess i will just keep and continue using it...hehe..
today...is morning shift for me...nothing special to talk about...tmr will be afternoon followed by morning again...i guess i will not be in female cubicles anymore...change to behind...yeah...females are so troublesome sometimes...lol...code blue drill next wk...i am scared...arhx...i dun want to fail...after e morning shift will be night shift again...sian-ed...but what is great is e 2 off days following it lo...this month roster coming to an end soon...next roster havent come out yet..i think sister will be back from maternity leave soon...next roster ba...i am scared...haix...i think my so called relaxed days are coming to an end soon...oh god...
ok...i shall get back to my entertainment le...aka..shows...haha..forensic heroes 2 is so nice...finishing soon...but i am so tired now...haix...i need more sleep...but i dun want to sleep so early...lol...
20:38
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
k buffet
Today..surprisingly..ended work on time...at 1415 like tt...then went to rest and have my late lunch...all cold from e aircon already..but nvr mind...better than nothing to eat...almost forgot i had food inside oso...so..as time is still early...went back home to bathe b4 meeting joanne and wes...
went to cineleisure k box...for k buffet...actually pricing quite reasonable la...is something like e sakura buffet lor...then still can sing k...haha..stayed there from 1800 to 2200...4 hours of fun...passed so quickly...haix...fun time flies lehx...good time singing...hehe...and having fun...happy belated birthday to wes...haha...
Checked my bank account le...pay is in!!!!...but very little lehx...not even 1.5k...haix...due to e cpf i think...deduct so much...haix...but nvr mind...can go shopping on thurs lo...haha...i think i will want to get the guess bag i saw...should i???
i am tired...sleep lo...luckily afternoon shift tmr...i can get 10 hours of sleep... :)
today is such a pleasant day..
23:48
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
post night blues
Finisded my 1st round of night duty after i officially started work...tiring was still the only word to describe...i just cannot help by falling asleep for e two days...even i can managed to stay awake de...but i was just too bored that i rather sleep...surf the net and read until my eyes become so blurry and tired...lol...in e end...after my 2nd night on sat morning...returned home and sleep straight away after mac breakfast (eating still the number one priority...lol)...then woke up at 5pm to eat dinner...then fell asleep at 7pm...then woke up at 10pm for some tv shows...and finally sleeping again at 0130...today woke up at 1130...so total...i slept for 21 hours b4 i can regain back my usual energy again...lol...
Walked around orchard today..nothing much to do...so just window shopped around...haha...waiting for wed...for payday...then for thurs to spend my money away...lol...yup..i am supposed to sleep right now...cos its morning shift tmr again...sian-ed...tues will be morning again...but it is ok...will be meeting up with joanne and wes...to celebrate wes's belated 21st birthday...supposedly on sat la (21st june)...whoa...happy birthday to her...but sadded that she spent her nice birthday with fever and running nose...lol...i guess a lot of ppl are down with flu recently...and tt includes me...so this again proves tt e flu jab tt i got is quite useless la...but i am recovering le...after some antibiotic and antihistamines...
hoped tmr will be a ok day...i hate morning shifts...esp morning shifts on monday...i rather admit on afternoon shifts actually...but well...since i get to go home earlier on morning...haix...tmr can watch superband oso...hehe...quite into it now...last wk episode so funny...ok..i shall rest early today...nightx...
(PS: actually wanted to change my hp de...but after seeing e model tt i want in reality..changed my mind immediately...HTC dual touch...haix...look so cool in web...but in reality...ermmm...ok..i shall not comment..aniwae..e hp tt i want is finally launched...w760i...shall wait a while more...then i will buy it..hehe..)
22:49
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
pissed
Again...i am getting so pissed off by someone about somebody sometime at work today..never mind....i shall tolerate...patience is the golden word...
Anyway...next three days will be training leave before embarking on shift work again...irritating night shifts...ya ya...the pay is more for working nights...but the hours really sucks...i want more sleep...
Slept at 1845 today...after dinner...lol..i can't help but to fall asleep...but now i am awake...tt's bad..cos i need to be up early again tmr...sleeping is the most precious time of my life now...why i never sleep more in the past????...lol....
22:15
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Saturday, June 14, 2008
routined life
Life is getting more and more routine as days past...all my time just revolves between work and home now...i have nothing meaningful to look forward to..and have no obvious goals for the time being...In summary...life is so meaningless for me now...
Everyday is just work work and more work...nursing notes nursing notes...and lastly...still nursing notes...the last memory of me practising my handwriting was in primary school times...and now the time is coming back again...i AM practising my handwriting everyday now...with endless things to write...writing just for the sake of protecting self...tt's the reality of life now...documentation rules the world...what u say is no longer tt important...cos there will always be someone who can twist your words around...writing down black and white is different..cos that is e evidence tt ppl are looking at...well..above is perhaps the most important thing i have learnt for the past wk...
Not tt i have done anything wrong tt makes me want to write about this issue...just a thought tt how pathetic we human beings have become....the trust between ppl..does it ever exist now???...well perhaps only when u have written tt down ba...lol...everything is evidenced based now...who cares a shit about what u say???...
Nursing is really a demanding job..i can see why there are so many nursing students...yet lesser and lesses nursing staff...the pay is not great..and yet we need to face so many *** people...it is not only about politics in work life now...it is more more more than tt...of course..u still face e usual office politics...the usual backstabbing around...and plus plus plus...u need to deal with other professionals...the doctors...therapists...pharmacists...and many many other colleagues...and of course..not forgetting the patients...and the always demanding family members..the pay is minimal...yet the faces u see is maximised..
Ppl are always ever demanding...and it is obviously true tt some ppl still think that e world only revolves around them only...imagine how many patients a nurse is in charge of in reality...to the nurse it is 1 to 12 patients...but to the patients...they would take it for granted tt it is 1 to 1...and what can we do???..we can only try to satisfy to their demands...because...we do not want to get a complaint letter...the reality is indeed cruel...forcing people to change for the bad...forcing us to care for others because e fear of the complaints...but not because of the true lovely care for people..
Well...above what i said may be quite depressing...for the fact tt i have only started work for 1 month plus only...but this is not what i discovered recently...but long ago when i was still a student...so why am i into this job now???..well..maybe i should just say it is the nature of human...to pursue the impossible..lol...deep down...of course i do not want to succumb to this type of cruel reality..and i just want to try my best in this job ba...of course...i can easily choose another job which is more relaxing...not so energy draining...but i am really not into something with no challenges at all...i mean...how old am i now???..only twenty...yup...only...still a long way to go...how can just choose a relaxing job now without challenges???...life with no goal is already very meaningless le...let alone a life with no challenge at all???...i cannot imagine how will it be...
Up till now...i am still undecided with the goal of my life...so i am in this job...this line will be what i am interested in for sure...just the exact direction is still unclear now...so gain more experience now first...experience counts a lot in this line...tt's what i believe in...and it is proven true many times...so right now...i will only grab more opportunities to learn first...few years down...where exactly will i go????...i am really unsure...this is bad i know...but tt's me i shall say..i always have no obvious goals in my life...i am just going the direction where the wind is blowing...i do not know what i want exactly...and i am not after something materialistic at all...so what is it then???
Anyway..enough of my life talk..to people who read..ignore what i say above...because..i am just typing whatever that comes to my mind...confusing and contradicting...so just ignore ba...tmr will be morning shift again...then training leave x3..then night shift...again...no life...i will just stay home throughout next wk other than work ba...after work...i am just to tired to go out...even if i go out...i will be too tired to enjoy...
Payday is really coming soon now...in 11 more days...tt's fast...now i discovered another purpose to me working...tt is..exchanging my time for ...money...cruel to say...but money is still the most vital thing in our life now...i am quite sure of tt now...with the money...i can buy most of the things i want...with no feelings of guilt or what for spending too much..because...it is truely my money now...and with the money...i can now save up more...to travel about again..yup...if i cannot discover what i really want here...maybe another way is to travel about...sounds sad...travelling around to find a goal in life..i have once written here before...the world is so big..yet it is so difficult to find a small space to accomodate you...BUT...seeing from a different perspective...the world is so big...there is bound to be somewhere out there for you..just for you...
Yup..i have crapped long enough...please dun be mistaken tt i am living a sad life now...no i am not...i am still going to work with a smile...working with a smile (real or not i dunno??)...and returning home with a smile...at least to and fro i am smiling happily...cause i have nice music to accompany me...i am glad someone invented 'music' in this world...it really creates miracles....
22:11
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
stressful day
today is such a stressful day...reached e ward at 0615...and started work at 0630...and i worked non stop until 3pm...arhx...hardly i feel so stressed up...really dun quite like morning shifts...haix...i am still not independent enough...and i am still too slow in handling my stuff...and and i only taking 6 patients now...OMG...how am i supposed to cope with 12 patients in the future????
felt so demoralised out of a sudden...no mood to do anything le...just want to have a good rest and good sleep...i have nothing in mind to blog about...tt's all...
22:25
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Monday, June 09, 2008
rapid escalation
today went to work happily...but to my horror...there is actually an assessment today!!!...rapid escalation assessment...i was like...OMG....i know NOTHING at all...totally not prepared...but still...went ahead for e assessment...so stress lo...given case scenario..i oso not sure what to do...luckily i am only the second responder...haix...but it is only like a assessment style session la...no marks or wat...haix...but still...give me heart attack...lol...pls...stop all these stressors...haha
tmr will be training leave...sian-ed...0830 to 1730...so long working hours...somehow i prefer the ward now...lol...though i also always do OT in ward...cos cannot finish...but today is fine...floating around....cos e assessment make me miss the report taking...so i just float around and serve meds...haha...and i get to eat dinner...plus a 2nd dinner at home...hehe...
seeing e doctor on thurs...hope e results are ok...which i think it will most probably be la...and is my off day tt day too...so sadded...off oso need to go back to hosp...sian-ed...this month roster not relaxing anymore...got 2 rounds night shift...i am feeling tired without doing any work yet le...
AND AND AND...i failed to cannulate today...2 pts...and i failed both...so sad...esp got one is extremely good veins de lor...but still...i failed...depressed now...maybe i shall wait some time b4 i tried to cannulate again...
22:55
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008
shopping fun
today is day off again...whoo...haha...work 2 days then rest...so i predict the next off day will be far far away lo...but e next roster not out yet...so dunno when off and what are e shifts like...tmr afternoon shift...but had to go earlier for blood test...arhx...blood tests again..heart pain...dunno how ex will it be this time...
these recent off days had been enjoying myself...lol...stayed at home watch concerts...then go out shopping...so had been buying stuffs nowadays...haix...i am happily spending away...but gg out beats than staying at home..though a lot of entertainment at home too...but gg out to shop and enjoy also more fun...hehe
but i am so tired again now...i am always feeling tired..even though i slept for 10 over hours...i am still exhausted...sleep...i am gg to sleep soon...nightx..
22:34
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Sunday, June 01, 2008
shopping day with mum
today is finally off day...yeah...i had been working continuously for 9 straight days le...damm tired...emotionally...physically..mentally...socially...lol...finally e rest day came...and it is gg to be gone...fast too...
even my mum said i am looking very tired all e time...yup i knew tt...cos i am indeed tired...but yet i am refusing to sleep early...lol...i am really not tt type whom could fall asleep like b4 11pm...so i am getting 6 hours of sleep everyday only...but it is not tt bad actually...i mean 6 hours of sleep is sufficient actually...it is what u do during e day which drains your energy...not how long u sleep to regain back e same energy...i mean if u sleep 5hours only..but spend e whole day doing nothing at all..u wont be tt tired too...
return all my books today...cant sit down to read at all...my eyes cannot concentrate on words...no matter how interesting e novel is...it just cant capture my attention anymore..so i shifted my time to music instead...listen to songs when i go or return from work...then more music again when i reached home...except tt i will now fall asleep even if i am watching my fave mayday concert on tv...sorry...tt's bad i noe...but i cant control my eyes from closing...
however...though tired...i am not sick of work or wat...instead...i am sorta enjoying certain aspects of it...of cos...unhappy moments do happen too..but well...whatever u do...there are bound to be unhappy or real bad moments...nothing can go on smoothly forever...and e world does not move in e way u want it to be...so what is more important...is to forget and let unhappy moments pass...and remember all e good points and happy moments of life and work...hehe..
well i used to day tt syudying is so much better than work or wat...or the past is always better...but apparently tt is not very true...e past may seem better only because...it had all past...回忆总是显得特别美好，因为那些一切都过去了...e future is scary..because we cannot predict what will happen...thus we hate to change...we hate to move on...and we just want to remain as usual..i am glad we cant predict what will happen..if not living on will be so meaningless....of cos..i really dunno whether i will continue on with this job...but e only thing i am sure of is...as long as i can still cope..i will continue..as long as i still feel some happiness from work..i will still stay on...but if i really cant cope or take it...i will leave la..no point torturing yourself i a place which doesnt suit u...but right now...i am sorta satisfied in this job...hehe...hopefully...this will become e career in my life...
tmr will be work again..afternoon shift...everyone dreads work..not because tt we hate e job or wat...just tt...ya...u need to work and go to work..tt's awful...but i dun hate it...haha...just like to grumble abit...lol...off day is on wed...looking forward to it...can use e day to check all e cds/vcds/dvd i bought...lol...havent listen or watch all yet...
working life is exciting in a sense..everyday tt is something to look forward to...look forwad to off duty...to rest day...and most importantly...to payday...lol...24 more days to next payday...am i too fast/early in counting down???
21:09
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