Wednesday, December 31, 2008

photos..

16:20

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sick

In the end...i still have not post anything about my taiwan trip :(

haha...i really wanna update bout the trip...cos i dun wan to forget about the things that happen...so really wanna post while memories are still fresh..but...sadly...i have no energy and mood to do so cos i am sick...boo...so bad...

i guess is due to work...i dunno???...after 3 whole days in HD...i am seriously drained off my energy..sunday pm shift...i was there 1300-2300...then mon am shift...0700-1730...then yesterday am shift 0700-1830...not to mention tt i was early for work also...stupid...i think spent sooooo many hours there lo...

so tiring...i am really a jinx at work...every shift sure got something odd happen de...makes me soooo busy...then all my entries are oate entries...sian-ed...

actually...today intended to go out de...well...i planned to go out...watch twilight again with my sis..shop a little...but i really no energy like tt lo...severe nose block+running nose..cough...sore throat...haix...i guess i should just rest at home...CRIB...haha..yesterday already slept from 2230 to 1100 le...omg...i think i seldom sleep b4 12mn de lo...haha...in e end wake up...slightly better than yesterday...at least no more sneezing...but the sick sick feeling still there...arhx...

I hope i can recover by sunday...if not where got energy to queue for the concert...haix...after today rest day still need work for 3 days...where i will be exposed to again more bacteria...haix...

so...i will quietly rest at home today...ate 3 spoonfuls of ice cream just now...then my cough got worse..lol...maybe i should abstain from food also...

well..in another words..i dunno when can i actually post out my taiwan trip here...even though i hope to write out every single detail...but time is really a factor...haix...lets hope my memory is good enough...and i will be back someday to write out all..haha...

14:27

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

primary school gathering

Today went out again..haha..i think i had meaningfully spent my annual leave this time round...cos i am not at home for any one of the 11 days...lol...morning woke up quite late...i am still tired dunno why...then met siying at 1pm...at her void deck there...because she is driving me!!!..haha...so great to have friends who drive...

then lunch at kenny rogers..very full lunch..then just walked around...haha....after tt...met with candy at raffles city..actually...i thought i will be the first to reach...in the end no la...i reach about 1915...dinner at din tai fung instead...i ate prawn fried rice...omg..i was like damm full lo...cos just finished lunch at around 1600..then after 3 hours eat again...the fried rice so big plate somemore..in the end like i eat very slow like tt...haha...ya..i am the last to finish...but my speed of eating is fast de lo...just tt tonight i am so full...so i am like forcing each spoonful of rice down my throat...and surprisingly..i finished up all...haha

after tt went to starbucks...for drinks...ya...eat again..i am expanding horizontally le...chat talk...about pri school days..heard a lot of old stories...which i had already forgotten...haha...actually my most enjoyable times are in primary and poly times...to think i forgot most things tt happen during pri sch time...lol...so my memory actually not tt good after all...but i still feel kinda out of place la...cos most..or should i say all...are schooling or intending to school...and i found tt most topics i had nothing to say at all..so mostly i just listened and laugh along...but not really talk...haix...maybe i had been talkative during pri school times...but not now le la...as least i cant talk whatever i want now with them..no offence or what...but the frequency really not the same now lo...or maybe long time no see le...a bit wierd to crap around also...haix..i dunno la...maybe i too anti social or what...

aniwae...ppl that turn up...total ten of us..candy, huiwen, me, xingyi, kang wei, chii yeh, victor, shee yong, alan, wei xiang, teck ming..surprisingly...more guys ah...haha...aniwae...it is still an enjoyable session...haha...and most of us live in bukit batok area also...so we all took the same bus home...so nice...haha...cos normally..i will be the only one taking bus alone home when out with other friends...sadly...i didnt take any pics at all...cos we have enough cameras around...so just let them take lo...haha...can go see at facebook ba...

facebook really useful...haha...all my taiwan trip photos i so lazy to edit and post here...so meanwhile just all facebook to take a look if u want...when i have the time...then i will post here la...

wierd..i felt tired...but i dun want to go sleep...haha...work restarting on sunday...sian-ed...i will be back to the routine life again...i dun wan...but no choice ah...so now...i shall enjoy every moment first...haha...

02:24

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

lazy-ing

I know i will be toooo lazy to update entries about my trip...and yup...i am absolutely right about it...went out just now to one of my colleague's house..baby 1st month le...so fast...baby so cute...haha...the buffet they ordered so nice...haha...i am still so greedy as b4..lol...aniwae...tmr will also be gg out...so 2 days gone...left with night to update...but i am greedy for sleep...so how???

aniwae...i will upload most of my photos to facebook...then slowly update here ba...haha...got a lot of stories to tell lo...cos some real funny interesting things happen during the trip too...i hope i can update them all fast...b4 i forget these memories...haha

but first...let me edit my pics first...haha...

23:36

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back from taiwan

Yoz...i am finally back from taiwan...reached changi airport at around 2230...yup...brief update now only..cos i am already dozing off due to the fact tt i did not really sleep yesterday...overall...i personally think that i enjoyed this trip :) because i have been to most of the places i want to go...by myself...yeah...tt's a great achievement to me..haha...aniwae...i do hope to upload / updat e this trip before i start work..hopefully la...cos i had 900+ photos...and my friend had around the same amount as me...wonder how long am i gg to upload?

my arms legs are aching now...my luggage is damn heavy..one piece go..4 pieces return..and my check in baggage is 20.1kg..i cannot even lift it up...lol...i am such a spender...

alright...tt's all for now...i am so tired already...haha...

and yup...

MERRY CHRISTMAS...

01:48

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

its the day finally

Just about 4-5 hours ago, i am still very depressed and angry, fed up in the ward...really feel like throwing everything..and walk off...but now, i am getting more and more excited...cos i am flying to taiwan in less than 10 hours le!!!!

I seriously feel that i am not suitable to work straight for 7 days...cos my good luck will get used up in the last 2-3 days...and i will be struggling like hell...just like mon and tues...my last 2 days of work before annual leave...mon i went home at 11pm...tues at 1030pm...so meaning...i work ot again with no extra pay la...

mon: i have like 2 chest tubes insertion...which is already enough to drive me mad for ppl who knows what is this...not to mention admissions...and transfer...and a near discharge...(in e end patient not fit to go back)...

tues: took 13 patients...got 2 admissions...1 near discharge again...but this one i already prepare all the things...in e end...found out that no one teach injection technique to the family at all!!!...so i cant discharge them at all!!!...luckily the family is nice...if not i think i will be scolded like what le...and got some really ermmm *** family...asking me for update when i am rushing to serve all 13 patients medicine...never mnd...when i look at the notes...there written down dr already updated her this noon...so i say,"i thought our dr had already updated u this morning?" guess what is her reply..."ya...he updated me in this afternoon...but how about now??"

OMG...what she expect...call her tds for update???...hearing that my anger really rush up...but still i updated her...with crap..."ehhh...nothing much la...just the same as what the dr update u lo"...stupid right...how much changes she expect within like 4-5 hours???....then another patient..."nurse i got no medicine ah??"..then i say," ya...i already confirmed with the dr...u have no medicine for tonight.."...then guess what he say??.."then i go home la...how can like tt no med??"...so what he expect me to give him???...no medicine better than a lot of medicine ma...no med meaning not so serious illness la...stupid...keep on pressing me..in the end ask lactulose (med to pass motion) from me...dotx...really...

all these stupid things keep on happening during my shift...end up all my medicine overdue la...omission la...all new cases notes not written la...haix...really irritating until i want to walk off lo...

BUT BUT BUT...no worries...all my bad mood resolves now...cos is a brand new day today...lol...currently watching mayday's final home concert...packing my luggage...(ya...i only have time to pack now)...i think i left out of a lot of things to pack..but i really cannot think of what else to bring le...haix...so forget it lo...i shall buy anything which i miss out there...plenty of things to buy there...one wierd one...instant noodles...haix..my colleague keep pressing me to buy like 1 carton...lol...how on earth am i gg to bring back that???...but i shall still buy a few for her ba...haix..hopefully i wont forget...got a long long list in my virtual memory...haha...

huiwen at taiwan now also...wonder if i can meet her coincidentally??..lol...rare chances ba..taipei so big..haha...then also to janice...had a nice fun korea trip :)...next time i think i want to go korea also...haha...

01:38

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

early christmas gifts

Our ward had the christmas party quite early this year...on the 11th dec...actually...i never really attended this party also...cos i am working...am shift...lol...so i didnt participate in the drawing of gifts or what...i didnt even get to enjoy the buffet...just ate some which are brought back by the colleagues...cold somemore...but the food is nice la seriously...it tastes not bad to me when it is cold...so i assume that it is delicious when it is hot??

aniwae..for the gift exchange...got a shiseiko exfoliating massage gel..which i doubt i will use often...it is sort of black cream...which cost 35dollars...haha...tt person who bought this gift...tear the price tag halfway only...and wrote her name on the gift...lol...so funny...so i just told her that wow...u bought so ex ah the gift....then she is wondering why i know all tt...lol

then also had a gift from sister??..tt's what i was told la...best handwriting in ward 63...lol...2 month ago...i may had agreed...but now my handwriting really sucks lo...cos i already realised that the more nicely i write...the later i finishes my work...haha...

00:00

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

past emo

I have passed my emo stage...

I am not feeling sad or depressed now for the moment..

I am looking forward to tomorrow....not to my 7days of work straight...but to my taiwan trip next wednesday!!!

Please let it be great cold weather there...with lots of nice food...lots of nice ppl...lots of nice things to buy...

Having something to look forward to brings a drive to my life :)

21:02

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Friday, December 05, 2008

change of thought

finished my round of 4nights...and now is rest days finally...exchange shifts with colleagues...so end up now i had rest until next tues...b4 working straight for 7days again...actually...intended to blog about happier things...but now seriously thinking about it...i have little or rather no delightful things to blog about at all...

was browsing through facebook, friends' blogs just now...the more i see the more sad i become...well..actually...this thought had appeared last night??..when i was chatting with one colleague during night shift...i guess..no one else will truely understand how we feel really...except us...she is 22 ...while i am 20...yet we are already having the mindsets of ppl in 32..scanning through different exciting entries in facebook or blogs or whatsoever...i am seriously thinking of what exactly am i doing??..

i no longer had exciting lifes to live...i no longer had delightful moments with friends to share...what revolves around me is just work...work and more work...rest days...still thinking about work...what is on for the day..what will happen next...

while many others of the same age are still enjoying their youth...i can no longer feel the excitement or meaning of life...i know...different ppl hav different paths of their own...but why cant i also enjoy myself as others will??..i do very much want to go on studying...or go do something which i really enjoy...but i just cant...

if i dont continue working...what else can i do??

3-4months ago..i still have some plans going on in my head...like...i want to enrol for uni next yr...but now...sadly to say...but i have totally no mood to think about studying again...i dunno why..i used to have so many plans of what to study...what i will like...but now...i am just thinking of...just work la...what else can i do besides working...

i guess i have already lost the motivation to study...and also lost the motivation to pursue different interests or dreams of mine...or...do i really have any dreams in the 1st place???..seriously...i think i have forgotten it all...what is left in my head...is just...different diagnoses...different blood tests...different medications...all is just about work work and work...

work already drains out all the available energy of mine...after work or on rest days...all i wanna do is just to sleep rest...or just stay at home..without facing anyone else...cos i already face enough ppl during work...even times when i met friends for outings...i cant even concentrate well on just enjoying myself...the mind somehow or what..will stilll drift back to what happens during work...

reflections...yup...lots of reflections...what hav i done wrong..what hav i not done...even my dreams...or rather nightmares now...will be scary stressful scenes in hospital...

seriously...why am i facing all of these nonsense???...i thoroughly miss my sec..poly days...when i can just go school..sit for exams...stress for a while...then get over with it...and enjoy...not like now...every step i made..every sentence i say...every word i write...or every action i do...i need to be extremely careful...not to make any mistakes..

sometimes when patients or relatives ask how old i am...twenty...oh please...they will stare at me with big eyes...i dun behave like a twenty would...i dun talk like a twenty...and of cos i wont look like a twenty...

to sum up all...what i just wanna say is that...though it is bad to have such thinking...but i am really really really envious of many of my other friends...i also want to live such lives as them...rush for assignments...study and stress for exams...face the heavy stress of academic...yet...can enjoy totally when all are over..

mistakes can be made when u are still studying...but when u are out at work..mistakes are usually intolerable...which makes me being extra careful of every single thing...

smile when u are happy...and smile even u are not happy...
and the sadest...smile when u are not feeling anything...

sister just sign my confirmation letter today...i was actually quite worried that i may not pass probation...i thought i was...but today...even when i counter sign the letter also..i have this feeling of nothingless...no emotions...just sign...thank you...a smile...and go...i thought i would be sky high happy when i am confirmed...i really thought i would...

i dunno what kind of life am i living..i dunno what am i living for...i dunno what am i writing now...i seriously dunno why should i even exist now...

perhaps ..i am just writing out rubbish here...

main point

ignore this entry...no one will understand anyway...because u are not me..

23:36

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Shi Hwee
CS Yr 4 in NTU

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