Sunday, January 31, 2010

regrets

Yesterday was a pretty awful day...i think i had seriously said something i shouldnt have even mention at all...but it is now too late to regret...words once said...cannot be taken back..i think i was just to emotional at that time ba...i dunno why...but whenever comes to this topic...i will just fill this gush of tears coming in my eyes...and although unwilling...i will always breakdown...this is bad...but maybe i find it too stressful and heavy to keep all this to myself also ba...sooner or later..i need to face this situation...sooner or later...i still need to force myself to make this painful decision...but anyway...now i still think i was just too reckless...hmmm...how to salvage the situation next week???...i hope i find the right words this time...and of cos...dun say out too much...

aniwae...after work yesterday went for spicy steamboat aka mala hotpot with zhen...it was great meal...surprisingly i dun find it as spicy or hot this time...perhaps i am just too sad to realise that it is actually spicy...aniwae...ate a lot...in e end got diarrhoea today...too heaty..lol...just now had dinner with some colleagues..supposed to be a farewell dinner for chelsea...although less ppl...but we do enjoy ourselves...korean bbq is indeed not bad...had lots of kimchi today as well...just the ginseng chicken was a minus point...wierd taste lehx...

aniwae...i dunno about others...or how others think...but sometimes i feel and find it quite disturbing...that different ppl indeed get different treatment...i mean not as in rich or poor tt sort...just tt...some ppl...when they leave or what..they will get some grand farewell dinner with lots of ppl attending...while others will not have...i feel it quite unfair...and i dun understand this underlying politics or whatsoever...adults are just so ...hmmm...relationships between ppl are just not as simple as u think it is...they may hi smile talk...but deep down they may be cursing each other...this really makes me feel uncomfortable..who knows i may also have been backstabbed a thousand times???...but still...i feel tt by saying less...and treating others with a little more trueness...this world/place will definitely be a better place...e very moment tt u are talking bad about someone...u are already being reflected as a neg person...well this applies to me...i may listen to gossips...but i will not join in any...cos i seriously feel that everyone should be treated fairly...and truely...

presales for mayday's concert already started...again...i got neg comments from others tt i am spending my money away wastefully...well...i am actually numb to all this long long ago...just let them say lo...i mean different things mean different values in different ppl...u may have spend hundreds or thousands on spas...massage...clothes...bags..etc and find it worthwhile...i have willingly spend hundreds for concerts each time...u find it wasteful tt i spend hundreds on 2hours of concert..and i also find it wasteful tt u spend hundreds on spa/facial/massage...every single person had their own value or mindset i thought we should not belittle or critisise all these...aniwea..i as usual will ignore all this comments la...today bought 4tix..thanks to xuehui's ocbc card....only managed to secure A4 row 13 seats..i preferred A3 actually...cos A4 is abit too side...so is sideview seats...but no choice la...A3 seats are from row 20 onwards le...aniwae...looking forward to concert now...know it will be great..haha...hope it will be comparable to kaohsiung's one...

next week is a crucial week...a lot of things to be completed...

and next week stif will be back..haha...look forward to k-session with them...yeah

01:11

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A&E visit

First time ever i went to A&E for myself..lol..it was unexpected la...actually..i dun think i was that sick..just suddenly i felt so terrible that i really think i should visit there...that was after my afternoon shift...well..i think i really felt miserable then lor...until i think i ought to visit a doctor STAT...after consultation i felt better...i think my sinusitis had progressed to be a chronic one...affecting me in many ways...until now i still feel headache easily..sometimes giddy...not to mention blockked and runny nose..haix...bad...i think i should visit an ENT doctor soon...ya...soon...got so few rest days in this roster..dunno when i will have the time...although i got 3 days MC..i did not utilise it...cos i really think i am fine...i mean...i go to doctor not to get sick leave...i go to doctor to take med to make me feel better...after meds..i am better...then thus i go work la...i dunno why all others are making a big deal out of this..not only colleagues...including my mum...i know how i feel lo...even i rest at home so what...i will still feel the same..it is already chronic...so must well i go work...haix...dun take mc go work also can be nagged by others...sian-ed...

aniway...using my sister's computer to type now..my laptop had some funny sound lor...seems like coming out from the cooling fan??..or where i also dunno...but i really scared it will explode..so ya...i am taking my lappy to the doctors as well...on wed ba...haix...what kind of luck am i having now???...luckily still got my sis com to use..if not i will die lor...i cannot survive without internet i think...

tmr have classes...haix..shall sleep now...but i am too excited to do so..lol...nowadays keep gg for supper with colleagues after work...if not arcade...haha...very crazy...cos actually we are all damm tired after work...but still...we want to go out and play and have fun...maybe because we are still young..which i think is reasonable..haha..anyway...had fun also..

one more important thing...mayday is having concert again...at singapore!!!...which they announced will be comparable to kaohsiung's concert...which is like damm cool la...i dun care i am gg..hahahahaa...and i am trying my best to drag as many friends as possible with me...yeah!!!

excited++

01:10

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

22nd birthday

Just returned home from kbox...so tired now...need to go sleep le...

I had a great day today...nice lunch with siying...nice dinner with colleagues..and of course very high singing session with colleagues...thanks to all

thanks to all who wished me happy birthday...i really felt happy today

I hoped all the 3 wishes i made this yr will come true...haha

just a note...this is already the 5th yr of my blog...so my blog is 5yrs old..haha

ok...stop crapping now...gotta sleep...

04:01

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

new year shopping

I have always thought that 2 days rest for weekend nights a bit short...seems like i just ended night and yet tmr i am gg to work again..haix..nvr mind..tt's work ba...aniwae...went for new year shopping at 313 today...i loved that mall..haha...so many things to shop there...haha...although i have spent quite a lot...but very happy...

a lot of shows to watch and yet to be watched...lol..like 宫心计，下一站幸福，海派甜心...and not to mention some korean+jap shows which i bought sometime ago...now thinking about it...i still have 10+books unread...even un-opened...lol...all stacked up there..haha...but this is good..a lot of things to do..better than no things to do...haha...and also a lot of new songs which i had yet listened to..haha...

was listening to some old songs on my way home just now...well old songs meaning songs which i listen to during pri/early sec school times...'my love' from westlife...brings back a lot of memories of pri school...like the thailand trip during pri 6...although i remembered only minimum things from tt trip..but listening to the song will bring back a lot of images from the past as well as faces of pri school friends...next song which i loved tt time...maybe sec 1...will be 'as long as you love me' from backstreet boys...actually...there are many songs that i loved from backstreet boys...but as long as you love me brings back the most memories...haha...of the group i mean...

23:36

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Friday, January 01, 2010

2010

2010 is finally here...now the live broadcast of the taipei city countdown is still playing on my computer...wang li hom now...latest song kiss goodbye..haha...i am a bad gal...never support singapore...but taipei's one is really nice..even if only watch online it is still great...and today network is exceptionally smooth...no jams...haha...smooth flow...

watched lu guang zhong...din dang...s.h.e...and of cos mayday...all are nice...i am amazed by din dang's voice when she sang wo ai tai...super good really...and mayday's costumes is nice..haha...performance is great...a mini version of dna...with ga qia as beginning...followed by dna...li kai di qiu biao mian a bit not so well...cos not sync...aniwae...only beginning got prob...after tt also ok le...followed by sun wu kong...but this time they jumped masa's solo???...so wierd suddenly...then got the orchestra again!!!..cool...singing zui zhong yao de xiao shi, tian shi and finally ren sheng hai hai...ren sheng hai hai is really a special song...seriously i think if not mayday's fans..will not like/notice this song...but this song is great...and the snow flakes which appear in wen rou during concert appeared here...cool...haha...

countdown is abrupt...they should let mayday sing one more song instead on talking for like 6-7mins...and the taiwan up part is super funny to me...oops...but no offence...i bet all artists (including mayday and leehom) will feel wierd up there at tt point in time..haha...a letdown is...the show havent countdown yet...my house downstairs already countdown finish...like early by 5mins???..so wierd...somemore so noisy..haha...screaming when not even reach 2010...aniwae...main point and highlight of show is of cos the fireworks...i like to see 101 fireworks..like the whole building exploding...hahaha...i am sadist...lol...but it looks great...even on internet through the screen only...if there live..i think will be great...can i be at taipei to countdown next year???...or rather end of this year...hahaha...

i should be retiring to bed already...so damn tired these 2 days...super lots of problems at work...but never mind..already used to it...already numb to it...i am just sorry for all my grumblings at work today (or rather yesterday)...i am really not feeling well...first time i have the feeling like floating in e air...i bet if anyone push me i will just fall to the ground lor...then e feeling of nauseous is bad...really bad...makes me so lethargic...haix...but in e end i got better after a bar of merci...at 4+ ???...haix...one whole day of suffering...tmr will be night duty..i hope this will be better...haha

new year new year...i am excited...haha...2010 le...so fast...i feel i am advancing further...towards more changes...towards future...i want to be positive...

but it is wierd...and i am amazed by my contradicting words and feelings at different times...here i may be happy and positive..but in e other blog i may be sad and negative...i know everyone has 2 sides to them...but i am just amazed by the major differences in my thinking at times...until sometimes i am not sure how exactly am i feeling??..am i really happy when i say so??am i really happy when i smile or laugh???...here i may be describing how excited i am...but next min wheni switched to the next blog...i may write completely different things...different feelings...until when i read tt i thought my 2 blogs are written by 2 different persons...well...i guess i should not read too much into this...maybe tt is just a dark side of myself...although sad to say tt the dark side is rather the more true side of me...when i read and compare...earlier entries here is more reliable...but come to this 2 years...i dare not say so anymore...but anyway...just take here as what i am...i will not want anyone to know or discover what i am actually feeling exactly...and to see the brighter and more positive side of me is better than to exposed the dark side of me??

aniwae 2010 countdown in taipei officially ended...watched 5hours just for mayday and fireworks..but worth it!!!!! ...

00:43

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Shi Hwee
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