Friday, December 31, 2010

the day before 2011

Now it is 0000.

Finally, the last day of 2010. Well, actually it had been a rather fast pacing year. Or should I rephrase it this way that, ever since graduation days seemed to be fast forwarding? Too fast that a lot of things/events are forgotten if you never attempt to remember it hardly or write them all down. I should admit that I am not a very consistent blogger, at least as compared to schooling days when I really have more entries on more things. And of course of a wider context. Well, at least I have this blog to jot down some important happenings of my life, which I am glad of. Just browsing through the titles of my entries, suddenly realised that my 2010 is quite eventful, and strangely some major events are left out in my mind when I am thinking of what to write in this entry. Perhaps subconsciously I am trying to delete away those unhappy events in my memory?

Anyway things that I've intended to write about for year 2010:

1) The one big major event will of course be my resignation. The first big step which I've taken forward to pursue what I really wanted. And of course, I've not regretted my choice of resigning (yup, forsaking my bonus and my promotion) and even if time turns back now I will still resign.

2) Adapting to a new job at a research setting. Still learning and future is unclear. Haha. Not talking about career advancement but rather my whereabouts after my contract is finished? And that's in month's time. Hoped to be able to stay on of course at least until july. Well, it is really not easy to learn whole new stuff and know new colleagues once over again, especially when you are not going to stay very long also. And of course, I need to pay. Realistic me.

3) My first overseas trip with Siying to Hong Kong. Enjoyable event of the year. Haha, all overseas trips are nice. No work no stress. Buy and eat, shop and sleep.

4) Unlimited DNA at outdoor stadium. Not a best concert, but is rather memorable when thinking back. Great company of May and Emily and of course my sis. Amazed that I managed to pull 2 non-mayday fans to go with me, and tickets are seriously not cheap!

5) Lastly, this is the part which I've forgotten but refreshed after looking through the titles of my entries. Being accepted in NUS and NIE. And both of which I did not go ahead to study. And also, this is the most painful time of 2010 which makes me not to remember it. I figured it as a good thing, not to think backward but forward. So, yup, think forward.

Did not manage to squeeze in 10 major events for 2010, so 5 is still presentable? Haha. But it is really a fast year, which is good in a sense as I've regard 2010 as a bridging year for my future goal. Managed to experience different aspect of nursing before completely forsaking it next year. And managed to carefully think through my options before enrolling again in 2011. Maybe it is a good thing that I gave up the sponsorship for NIE course. Yup, somehow or rather.

Ok, enough of the past, now is the future. Looking forward to 2011, which is a day more!!!! Carefully thinking, 2011 is really an important year. Haha, if 2012 is the really marked end day for all, then 2011 is the last year before we are all gone!!! So isn't it a very important year then??? LOL. Sometimes I feel that even if 2012 is really the end day, it may not be as bad as we think. Well, since all need to die someday, it may be a blessing for all to die on the same day, together, and we will never have to suffer the loss of anyone again. An end to all. The world is not as pleasant as before anyway. So 2011 will be a big year for me. Treat it as a last year, and enjoy and cherish everything and everybody when it is still available and present.

1) First big thing will of course be to enrol to a local uni. I have finally decided on my choices, after a small talk or rather random talk with Huiwen and Candy when we met on the 29th for dinner. Sounds really random, but after listening to them and thinking, I think I've really straighten up my thoughts. Haha, what a phrase. So yup I've finally decided on my choices, no more changes. (After all it is still only options, not even confirm whether I will get admitted) For NUS, I will still put FASS as my first choice, hopefully they will consider me again, since I rejected their offer in 2010. Well, majoring in CNM seems not a bad idea after all. I really think I think too much. Anyway, my main goals are still in NTU. So, for first choice, I will put Mass communications! Surprise! Haha, back to the beginning, isn't this what I really wanted to study in the first place (yup, even during sec school days)? Just because of a random thought I chose nursing, and of course it is a bad choice which makes my life go a bit haywire. Deviated from what I really want, and now, I really think it is time to put things back again. Sadly, I have minimal confidence to be able to admit in this course due to a lot of factors. Firstly is of course the indicative GPA which I am below the 10th percentile for last year. Sad. Secondly will be the interview part? All these had made me not to consider mass communication as one of my choices, because I don't want to go through the rejection process and of course the depressing part. BUT, giving up without even trying??? No, I should not even had done that, because if I gave up again once now, it will be back to square one again. Assuming I took up other courses and again it is not very much to my liking, I will start blaming myself for not even trying to attempt to get into this course. And then the vicious cycle will begin again. So, no matter what, this should be my first choice. And even I may not be able to enter it after all, at least I attempted to try it, (and of course try to appeal during the appeal period?) so even if I get into other areas in the future, I will be contented as well. Second choice will be biological science. A related area of study. Not an easy course to get in as well, but biology is rather a comfortable area for me. Third will be chinese. Last option, though many times I have considered it as a first option, but after careful considerations, it may not be a feasible way for me. Taking chinese with another major in communication is what I want, but what if I did not do well in chinese enough to get a 2nd major (high chance because looking at the course contents ..........), I will be in a weird position.

Hopefully, I can get into anyone of the courses listed above. ( Better be, if not I will be in a lost) With this arrangement of choices, I can safely say that no matter what I get into, I will be contented. And of course, if I am really able to get into mass communication, it will be a greatest gift and achievement of my entire life!

2) Korea trip with my mum. Highly anticipated by my mum. Ok, by me as well. Hope this is achievable. If I can continue on my current job, it will be a confirm trip. If not, hmmm, further thoughts needed.

3) Hmmm. More concerts? Hoping to go to any mayday's concert again. Missed the excitement and highness. Not going for the rock one in jan though. News regarding the super slippa coming in seems reliable. So waiting for that. Written that this concert will last from afternoon to night (day to night), dunno how true is that, but worth anticipating. The latest show of this super slippa in Shanghai is fascinating. At least looking at the songlist it is a WOW and MUST to go le. With mayday as the main cast, and my new love magic power, it is really a must to go for this! Please, bring this concert in faster, better in the 1st quarter of the year, if not before june. Haha.

Ok, so these will be my 3 big goals for 2011 for the timebeing. Cannot have too much goals, if not seem too greedy. Hehe. Started typing this entry at 0000 sharp, can't believe that it is 1251 now already, took me almost an hour to type this.

Anyway, it is new year's eve today. As usual, plan is to stay and home and rot. This is the norm for my countdown for the past 2years. Watching online countdown shows in taipei, loves the 101 fireworks as usual. Hopefully this year I can watch online successfully as well. If not only can watch repeat le.

My one week break is finishing soon, so fast. This month is really a disaster, december, month of spending. Really overspent le la. On all the clothings etc. Somemore going to KL next week, heartpain. I am drifting further away from my target savings. At this point of time, work is good. Because, work then got money. Haha, what a crude way of saying.

Although 3 more days to enjoy still, I love my week of holiday already. Bought enough things, lazed enough at home, and slept enough. PPTV is a good channel of watching dramas, enjoying shows from it now as well. Browsing travel forums and looking through pictures in facebook is a good past time as well. Well, life can be that simple. And happiness can be this simple.

1259, 1 minute more.

0100. I've completed my last entry for this year.

00:00

0 comments

Monday, December 27, 2010

Last week of 2010

Anyway, was talking about 2011 at the beginning of the post. Yup, there are indeed a lot of things to look forward to in 2011. Just to name a few:

- KL trip with Candy and perhaps Hui Wen??

- Korea trip with my mum (hopefully if no war, if not need to change destination le)

- Register for university (I consider this my last chance to get into uni and study, if not really too old for tt le)

- Super Slippa concert (upcoming?? latest news received today!)

Ok, just the 4 items above can get me going for the whole year le. Sounds great right, haha even better if I can save more money. LOL. Hopefully, can continue on my current job so I can continue to earn more income, in order to spend more. Haha.

Anyway, came across a nice phrase today, 世间有风雨，才能看见彩虹. Very true? But I hoped for my case it is just a small drizzle, not thunderstorm. Haha. Anyway, my above four goals for 2011 are 势在必行.

Hmm, so that's all for this update. Shall sum up my 2010, in my next post.

23:19

0 comments

Monday, December 13, 2010

not recovering??

Initially intended to update blog. But not feeling too well to update now. Update later this week ba, haix, I do hope I can feel better/recover soon. Long time never sick for so long le. Sian-ed.

21:51

0 comments

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

biggest regret

I think today I've blurted out the deepest thought in my mind to someone at work. The biggest regret I have is to choose nursing as my course of study. Well, though my colleague said I should not say this so confirmatively as we never know what will happen in the future, but somehow I am very sure that this is definitely not something I like to do now, and also in the future. Unless I am not practising in Singapore. Well, perhaps I should add one more sentence, the next biggest regret I have is not changing course after my first attachment during Year 1 of poly because from then on, I already knew I am not going to like this. Sadly, I wasn't brave enough to do any change. Now, I know I should not continue doing something which I dislike anymore, and I am just one step away from what I wanna do next in the future. Do not belittle this one step, because I am sure many may not even have the strength or courage to step out this one step to try to achieve what they want. Although it is said that the fastest way to realise a dream is to wake up (from candy's blog) and I actually agreed with it actually, but still, I do want to achieve something meaningful in my life, even if it means I need to remain in dreamland forever. LOL.

I am unable to agree with anyone who thinks that everything is already fixed for them and there is nothing they can do to change it. I hate people not taking life seriously and their only aim is to get along life easily and comfortably. I despise people who grumble about how much they hate what they are doing now yet not making any effort to change it. The worst thing ever you can do to yourself is to resign yourself to the so called fate and grumble to people for the rest of your life. If your don't like it, then move on! If you think you can continue living blindly and wish only to do things that are easy and no hardwork, dream on! Even people in poorer countries need to work hard to earn themselves something to eat.

I believe one definitely needs motivation to move on in life. And the easiest motivation you can get is from yourself. Living a life with dreams and continuing to try to realise all of them. A goal ahead and to run towards it. I do not believe anything good will happen just out of nowhere without you making any effort to try to change it. Just like money/food will not just drop from the sky unless you work for it.

Of course all easier said than to be done. That is definitely for sure. Even in the end you failed to achieve the ultimate goal you want, I do not think that that will be a disappointment because at the very minimum you have already answered for yourself. At least you've tried. At least you've attempted to change. At least you've done something. At least when you think back when you're old, you will be able to say "I regretted not being able to achieve that" and not "I regretted not trying to acheive that". A major difference between these two.

Just a moment of thought. Read through again some of my posts in 2007, read about final year poly life when I was struggling with presentations and play. Suddenly missed my friends alot, missed the times we sang at kbox, ate buffet together. Even missed the hard times we had when preparing for ICAs. Missed school life?? Haha, though you may say that I am going to enrol in uni next yr le don't need to miss anymore, but who knows what will happen next year?? Nothing is confirmed until the day finally comes. Like right now, I am still not sure of what I want to put as my first choice of course until end of feb 2011 comes when I submit the final choice.

Just like what I've posted in facebook, maybe subconsciously I've already decided what I wanted to study in my heart, just that now I've not realised it yet. And all I need is a word of affirmation of my choice. It is so bothering to think about this issue, making me headache really. Hard choice between biological science and chinese. Both are my area of interest. Although I like chinese more, I still had no choice but to think about future career prospects. I hate to admit but will choosing chinese be a bad choice as future prospects are not so bright? Though bioogical science is not that welcoming either, but at least I can be back to a similar old line of work which makes things brighter and easier. In the end, I am still torn between these 2 choices. Between reality and interest? I had a stronger feel that I will be better off with biological science but yet I am unable to let go of chinese. But if I chose chinese, if I am unable to do well enough I will still not be able to choose a 2nd major in communication which is my ultimate aim? So what should I do actually??? Headache again.

I need advices, but I am not getting them. I need guidance, but there is none. No one seems to be bothered about what I really want. Well that's true why bother about this issue since it is none of their concern or business. Thinking about all these makes me feel depressed.

11pm now. Took me a while to type this post. Sad at work today as I made a mistake. Hmm, cannot stand my carelessness sometimes. Heart is not at work, focus is not at work, so why still work? Lol. For money la then what else???? Haha. Maybe the best job one could ever have is one that you are willing to go work hard even there is no money. Does it even exist??? LOL

22:28

0 comments

Sunday, December 05, 2010

falling apart

So many things are spoilt or going to be spoilt in my room. First my dvd player, now is my light. I am typing this in complete room darkness now, except from the light from the laptop itself. Though bright, but I think this is harmful to my eyes. And last but not least, my body seems to be falling apart as well. First the cough and my voice gone, then I got indigestion for a week, now it seems that I am getting a sore throat again, and I predict the cough and hoarse voice will be back before I know it again. I hate to get sick in this way, because they become a hindrance to my daily activities. Cannot talk properly, cannot eat properly, cannot sleep properly. Can I have a greedy wish to recover once I wake up tomorrow's morning?

Light is back again. Haha, not by coincidence la. Went down and bought a new light. If only human's body works this way also, spoil then change a new part. Haha.

December is here already. Soon 2011 will arrive. I wish time can pass faster. But right now I am still undecided with regards to bioscience or chinese. I just can't come to a conclusion as to which to put as my first choice. My christmas wish for this year will be being able to come to a decision. If this cannot be fulfil, I will use my birthday wish as this also.

Oh, I have not blogged about last week Rene's concert. Well, it was okay okay to me, maybe I am not exposed to many of her songs. The stage set up was great, some common songs were nice. Did not enjoy fully because I was coughing mostly throughout the show. Sat down throughout the concert even though I am in 2nd row. Very front, but not high at all. I think I will not spend money on such things again, maybe just on concerts which I really like but not ad hoc ones. Suddenly I miss DNA series of concerts a lot. Miss how I used to jump and sing aloud throughout the concert. Miss how tired one can be after a concert.

Lastly, wish mayday's monster a belated birthday. And wish Ashin an advance birthday.

19:15

0 comments

Profile

Shi Hwee
CS Yr 4 in NTU

Wishlist

Stay happy

Archives

• January 2006


• February 2006


• March 2006


• April 2006


• May 2006


• June 2006


• July 2006


• August 2006


• September 2006


• October 2006


• November 2006


• December 2006


• January 2007


• February 2007


• March 2007


• April 2007


• May 2007


• June 2007


• July 2007


• August 2007


• September 2007


• October 2007


• November 2007


• December 2007


• January 2008


• February 2008


• March 2008


• April 2008


• May 2008


• June 2008


• July 2008


• August 2008


• September 2008


• October 2008


• November 2008


• December 2008


• January 2009


• February 2009


• March 2009


• April 2009


• May 2009


• June 2009


• July 2009


• August 2009


• September 2009


• October 2009


• November 2009


• December 2009


• January 2010


• February 2010


• March 2010


• April 2010


• May 2010


• June 2010


• July 2010


• August 2010


• September 2010


• October 2010


• November 2010


• December 2010


• January 2011


• February 2011


• March 2011


• April 2011


• May 2011


• June 2011


• July 2011


• August 2011


• September 2011


• October 2011


• November 2011


• January 2012


• February 2012


• March 2012


• April 2012


• May 2012


• June 2012


• July 2012


• August 2012


• September 2012


• October 2012


• November 2012


• December 2012


• January 2013


• April 2013


• August 2013


• October 2013


• December 2013


• May 2014


• December 2014


• December 2015


• January 2017

Credits

• Blogger
• Drogue Designs
• istockphoto
• Moargh
• Portfelia
• Roshiweb