Wednesday, April 18, 2012
in the midst of finals
Today is the relaxed day I planned for myself. Not at all relaxing actually, just so that I will stay at home and study, on the Internet. Reason, I have not done research, ok enough research, for my 203 paper. Thus I need to find articles for it, and the exam is next friday. Not mentioning I have a paper this saturday, and 2 other more next tues and wed. Sort of completed studying for this sat's one and next wed's one, but you know, it is never enough studying. I am kind of avoiding next tuesday's paper, because of the quite boring context, on digital media. And, it is the subject which I never even touched on during school days, well not that I did much for other subjects though.
Somehow, I am not very prepared for this upcoming finals. Too many concepts in my mind, and I cannot remember them all. Especially this saturday's paper. The film plus photography theories are driving me nuts! And I spent 3 days just to finish all the readings. No memorizing, just reading. The only paper which I am confident of will probably be translation, partly because of the high scores for midterm and positive feedback for presentation. And I have about 6days to study for it. Since the paper is the week after next.
Contradicting, exams are torturing. But I like how fast the time will pass during exam periods. I am sure, without me realizing it, I will be up here posting again that exams are over! Not that I like exams though. I am not supportive of exams totally, because they kill people's interest on the topics of study. Everyone is studying hard not because they love the subjects, but because they want to do well in exams, including me. This is not what study is supposed to be! We should study a subject, because we like it, and study harder because we want to know more about it. Sadly, the GPA and grades mindset in society now are contaminating the pure interest view. And for me, the more I study for a subject, the more I hated it. From like to hate, so what is the purpose of studying then?
Anyway, I am like wasting my time here trying to write about this. No use, because it serves no purpose. I must say I am quite stress this week due to all the studying, sometimes I feel I am on schedule, other times like now I feel I am not. Last semester I am still able to find some leisure time after studying at JE library to watch online shows. This semester, at least for this week, I am unable to do so. I am suppressing my urge to watch all the korean variety shows. Lol. Possible addiction after the exams, haha.
No more relaxation after exams too, I am officially starting interns on 7th May, to end of July. Hence, my whole holiday is GONE! A note, I end exams on 3rd May 1930. So it means I have only 3 days to sleep and relax. And school's probably starting 2nd week of August I supposed, thus leaving me another 7days to relax after interns. Some calculations here, I have 10days this summer holiday to fully rest and slack, excluding work weekends.
I hope I made a right choice to go into this internship. I wanted to, because I wanted to go into productions. But the pathetic pay of interns is really, demoralizing. Not complaining, because this is my choice. Hope I can learn a lot, and adapt faster this time. Well, I really think I am sacrificing my possible high-pay job for this. Well, if I do agency nursing this break instead of intern, I would probably have save up for my next year school fees, and exchange expenses as well. Yes, this is the difference. But well, I looking forward to hands on experience to production as well. Although I am unsure of what o do, and I am really totally a newbie in this area, no experience, and I am so glad and thankful they are willing to accept me as an intern.
Haix back to more studying now. Hopefully I can finish researching the articles tonight! And watch an episode of Family Outing maybe to relax a bit?? I think I am too stress until I cannot sleep well at night. Sian-ed. Tomorrow will be another full day at JE library again, conquering information literacy. I think I am quite productive studying at JE library instead of at home.
17:52
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Wednesday, April 11, 2012
地球加油, 人類加油
I am not getting emo here. But it is really quite depressing to keep hearing news about disasters happening around in this world. All of us live in the same world, but why is it that only some parts of the world keep experiencing natural disasters? While other parts like us here can live comfortably and still make a lot of noises about every small thing? I can't help to tear when I read about the 8.7 earthquake that happened just a few moments ago. Reason, I feel so guilty of living comfortably here, laughing and talking away, while other people, near to us, may be running for their lives? How contradicting it is? What have I done to live in such a safe environment, having almost everything I need and forever yearning for things that I want? And what have such other people have done to deserve such lives, of worrying for the basic needs and safety of their lives? Sometimes I wished that such things, like natural disasters do pertain to us as well, this may make this world more equal, this may make us cherish more, this may make us complain less.
Everything seems so normal and usual now. But just imagine our same kind in Indonesia, or any other where, worrying for their safety, trying to run for their lives. Why do I deserve to be so safe and sound here? The world is so unfair. Yes, we complain the world is unfair, because some are just born pretty and rich, some are clever, some are poor, etc. But we should all realise that these are actually tiny things in life that makes us different. The world is unfair, as some are born in a dangerous and perilous place, some need to constantly worry for their lives, worry for necessities like food and water, and some are just so lucky to be born with a silver spoon, or at least in a place that he/she need not worry about surviving. Yes, u may be poor, u may need to support yourself, you may not be clever or pretty enough, you may not be welcomed or well liked. But so? Yes but so? U can change all of these as long as u are willing to. These are things that you can change, just whether you want it or not. You know you will not go hungry as long as you work, you will do better in sch as long as u put in enough effort etc. But what about those who try hard to breathe but doesn't even have the chance to do so?
Perhaps we, (and me) should think more about how lucky we are and stop complaining about every little thing.
Everything I have now seems so contradicting, and I am really wondering hard what have I done to deserve all these? I am just getting so upset by all these news happening around us. The world is struggling, a lot of ppl are struggling. We are not. Oh maybe struggling with minor stuffs like work, exam, school? So how are these difficulties as compared to those? I don't dare to complain out loud now. We are not fit to do so. If only being exposed to such disasters will enable us to cherish and think more, I hope we are all exposed to these. Not that I want anyone near me to suffer such pain, I just want everyone to be more contented with our lives. Perhaps, being just contented with what we have now equals to no aspirations or no goals, but the world isn't the same now right? What kind of world are we living in now?
2012 may not be the end of world. But it is nowhere far I believe. The world is no longer the same old beautiful place we read in books or see in dramas. Everything and everyone is getting twisted, values are no longer uphold as it supposed to be, everyone is getting more cynical and skeptical about everything. Is it really a nice place to live in now? I supposed not.
17:46
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