Wednesday, October 29, 2008
yesterday
昨天，是我开工以来最糟的一天。
心情一直到现在还是没办法好起来。
伤心？内疚？难过？低落？疲惫？甚至觉得自己很没用。
就连卖了五月天的新专辑后也没能让我心情变好。
不过，一切都过去了。
我不想多提，不愿再想。
因为都过去了。幸好都过去了。
难怪回忆总显得比较美好，因为都过去了。
我想，我真的不是真正的快乐。。。
22:04
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Sunday, October 26, 2008
favourite song in mayday 7th album
roster out for this month le..hehe...got off from 12nov to 19nov...8days straight...so looking forward to that..haha...but this roster is new one again...pm shift is 1300-2130, am shift same la 0700-1530, night is 2100-0730...but sad thing is u need to do either 4 or 3 nights straight...sian-ed...i am doing for 4 days of night next monday to thurs...haix...havent start...i can imagine the tiredness already...be prepared to see a walking zombie...lol...but this week not bad...just return from 3 days rest today...work until tues...is 2 days off again...haha...but after that must work until next thurs la...haix...lets anticipate for nov 12 to come quickly..lol
my taiwan trip is confirmed!!!..haha...air tickets settled...hotel booked...left only planning of itinery only...tt can wait until my 8days off ba...can slowly plan..hehe...so happy now...got things to anticipate..but sadly...mayday's album havent out yet...need to wait until tues to hold it in hand...but now i dunno listen like how many times le...it is really a great album to me...all the songs i love...all so touching...sing to my heart...share one of my fave...must go listen yo...really nice..
我心中尚未崩壞的地方
醒在陌生的地方 鏡頭變成了刀槍 耳語也變成了真相
吉他告別了肩膀 詩人棄守了邊疆 我們活在巨大片廠
幸運的孩子 爬上了殿堂 成果代價都要品嘗
單純的孩子 是否變了樣 跟著遊戲規則 學著成長
轟轟烈烈的排行 沸沸揚揚的頒獎 跟著節奏我常迷惘
當人心變成市場 當市場變成戰場 戰場埋葬多少理想
回想著理想 稀薄的希望 走著鋼索我的剛強
偉大和偽裝 灰塵或輝煌 那是一線之隔 或是一線曙光
每個孤單天亮 我都一個人唱 默默的讓這旋律 和我心交響
就算會有一天 沒人與我合唱
至少在我的心中 還有個尚未崩壞的地方
歌手追逐銷售量 記者追逐點擊量 沒有誰比誰更善良
無論天后或天王 無論小兵或老將 曲終人散都要蒼涼
期待著彩虹 所以開了窗 窗外只有灼熱閃光
所謂的彩虹 不過就是光 只要心還透明 就能折射希望
每個孤單天亮 我都一個人唱 默默的讓這旋律 和我心交響
就算會有一天 沒人與我合唱
至少在我的心中 還有個尚未崩壞的地方
其實我們都一模一樣 無名卻充滿了莫名渴望 一生等一次 發光
寧願重傷也不願悲傷 讓傷痕變成了我的徽章 刺在我心臟 永遠不忘
默默的讓這旋律 和我心交響
至少在我的心中 自己為自己鼓掌
每個孤單天亮 我都一個人唱 默默的讓這旋律 和我心交響
就算會有一天 沒人與我合唱
至少在我的心中 還有個尚未崩壞的地方
孩子一樣 不肯腐爛的土壤 再唱再唱再唱再唱再唱
haha...my fave fave song...sooo nice...especially this line 就算會有一天 沒人與我合唱...makes me so wanna cry whenever i hear this...dunno why lehx...lol...
23:20
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Friday, October 24, 2008
poetry. of the day after
It is post night for me...d i only slept for 5hours i think...but ok la...i am not very tired...even up till now...haha...maybe because of all the new songs which are surrounding me...nice environment at home...super relax mood now...and fantastic music...as a result...i cant bear to go to sleep...let me enjoy this type of rare moments for a while more..
Yet another night duty had passed...not very slack..not very busy either..not much comments...there will still bound to be kuku patients who spoil all ur mood for the night...but never mind..i am happy...cos i can get leave in dec le...haha...so my trip to taiwan maybe now is 80% confirmed???...lol...waiting for shina's confirmation...and then book air tickets plus hotel...and yeah...is a new aniticipation for me again...lol...i dun mind spending my hard earned money to go to taiwan again...though i just went there about few months ago...but i wan to go there again..visit more places...hehe...free and easy trip again..i am testing my directional sense...should be ok la..never get lost last time...so this time will be ok too...
Finished listening to jay's jj's and mayday's album...haha...hear until i dun think i remember every songs...a bit mix up le...haha...but nice nice nice..all nice..haha..though jj's album packaging a bit...cheapo like tt...but songs ok...jay's one nice also...packaging...haha..bought e metal box one...dun ask me why la...pay more just for a box..lol...but nice...mayday's one..just listened online..cos spore havent release yet...sian-ed...always delay in spore one...must wait till next wk...but i no patience sia...so go listen online first...so nice...ok...maybe i am too into them now...but really i found the album soooo nice...especially after listening just to the first song...i am like...wow....ya...WOW....cant wait for it to release in spore...buy 2 albums to keep...lol...(i am not crazy...i just want to get 2 tix to their concert in spore...so no choice had to buy 2)...
still awake now...pretty alert...though i face the screen for so long le...and type so many words...tmr gg out for buffet lunch with a colleague...i am like eating buffet so often nowadays...one is before my night with some colleagues too...then tmr again...fat fat fat...lol..then sat gg to eat somemore...and i just realised...i think most of my salary spent on food lehx...lol...
00:48
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Saturday, October 18, 2008
stressful work
It had been stressful 4 days of work for me...especially last tues and wed...tues i am afternoon...and i only left work place at 11pm...seriously if my colleagues never help me out (in a lot of areas)..i tink i may go home like 12-1am???...then wed is morning...after a sleep of less than 5 hours..i am back at work again...and faced with more challenges...i tink maybe someone playing a prank on me or what...because...actually my workload not tt heavy...but end up one of my casenotes was missing...from like 10am+ like tt...in e end...i waste all my time walking around to look for it...and cant manage to find it until like 4pm+ when one of my colleague found it in level 3 lab...please...in a lab???...really...i curse tt person to hell man...in e end i go home like 6pm...
thus...these 2 dramatic days really drain my energy...firstly tues...with one ccu transfer..one discharge...4 admissions...then secondly..wed..with my casenotes missing...first time...my tears actually dropped...in e toilet of course...but i am back to normal in a second..lol...and i am thoroughly grateful to all my nice colleagues...and sister also nice too..never scold me for this...and also another incident which i dun wish to mention...
aniwae..these 2 days of rest is quite sufficient...watch painted skin yesterday also...nice movie..not scary at all...and a bit sad...cos i cried at the end part...especially the part when zhao wei said to the demon tt u dun like what is love at all...nice...initially quite reluctant to watch..but not a wrong choice afterall...haha..then today..just slack at home all day...eat and sleep...lol..enjoy my rest day well..tmr in action again..is afternoon..with mon as morning...hope i can go back on time tmr...and monday be a smooth sailing one...*prays*
then aftertt will be 2 nights...and off for 3 days...yeah...next sat gg malaysia also...cousin's wedding..whoa...food..food..and more food..lol...and of course not forgetting..mayday's album on 23rd the thurs...haha..on tt day..i will also collect jay's album and buy JJ's album...haha...so excited...3 new albums in hand...
and dec...shall be applying leave for trip to taiwan...yup..taiwan again...haha...i am so excited....love taiwan...i am yearning for ah zong mian xian and bubble tea le...and this time must go more places...haha...
22:05
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Tuesday, October 07, 2008
work again
It is quite sad that mos of my blog entries now are about work..seems like my life just revolves around work work and work...nothing but work...but that's quite true too..i still have life ma???...just work is enough to drain all my energy le...today i am taking 12 patients alone...and i seriously cannot cope with it AT ALL...but i am glad that my colleagues are all very helpful...because almost all came and help me out...despite their own workload too...so..in the end i am not tt stress after all...cos words of encouragement come throughout my shift...i am thankful to all of them who are so nice and kind to help me out :)
It is time to countdown to the release of mayday's album lo...lol...sometimes i think i am too unrealistic..or a little pathetic...need to rely on these things to keep me going...others may have real good support in life to help them go on...but i mostly had to rely on music...or songs...imagining that they are 'specially' intended for me...and surprisingly...they can motivate me to go on
Anyway...everyone has different kind of moral support...and need different kind of encouragement ba...no matter how wierd or unreal are them...they are still a support...
It is one day to their preorder of new album in taiwan
And it is 16 days to the release of their new album
Excited???...haha...yes i am...and i am crazily thinking of whether to preorder their album online and buy when released in spore...bear with me..i am thinking...only...(all these wierd thinkings start popping when u have the spending power...lol)...maybe...maybe i will get if me or anyone is getting stuff from tt web...cos..shipping fees is ex...so...i am still thinking only..haha
20:44
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Sunday, October 05, 2008
superband finals
Oh yeah...i am still online now..because it is afternoon shift tmr..haha...not rest day sadly...i already used up my 3 rest days of the week...so is work work work for the next few days...and nights coming again...if only there isnt a thing called night shift...because...night = sleep to me...and how miserable is it for me to stay awake the whole night...and cannot sleep...lol
Just watched finished superband finals...oh well..the champion...i have no comments about them..they are quite good actually..oh well..i sorta quite admire girls who can play the guitar/bass/drums...and actually sing along...very cool isn't it??..too bad i dun have tt talent la..
But of course...the main highlight for the show is of course mayday...watched since 1930...so scared tt i thought they might not appear...but they really make WONDERS...course my terrible headache (or rather migraine) went away when they performed...whoa...and now i am like perfectly awake...and excited...no much comments about their performance...haha..i love them all...so high....lol...but one sad thing is tt...did the sound not being adjusted properly during guaishou solo at the end of the song li kai di qiu biao mian???...so sad lor...his solo cannot be heard properly at all cos i think the volume is not adjusted correctly ba...so all i see is the camera taking his image...with his fingers moving fast and playing the guitar...but no obvious solo music...unless u paste ur ears at the speaker there...then perhaps u can hear some...haix...that's quite sad...and and and...i really think tt their interview a bit le chang like tt...3 black lines down my face...lol..haha...aniwae...great performance still..hehe...
i am qi dai-ing their new album le...too bad the first hit cannot be heard in radio here ba...cos is hokkien song...but it is really a nice song...the more i listen the more addictive it gets...quick...faster get release...then faster come and promote the album...lol...but let me know all the dates faster...i dun want to be sadly working when they come lo...
ok...i am still a bit excited...a bit off...lol...but i will sleep b4 12 de...cos i need 9+ hours of sleep to keep me gg...afternoon shifts are scary now...i dunno why...i am super busy during afternoon shift...since the start of this new roster...i am getting very stress up...everyday i think i write until got tears in my eyes...especially tt afternoon on 3rd oct...details i dun want to write..cos i am trying to make myself forget totally about tt day...imagine i reached home 1130pm tt day...and i cried when i reached home...and what makes thing worse is hearing my mum say tt's work la...and all this rubbish...they dun understand lo...if work is making me so sad and unhappy...i really dun see the need of continuing in it..i dunno..i am really feeling more and more 委屈le...maybe i am just too weak le...what u call tt 草莓族..and tt i cant take any stress at all???...i dunno...but i wont give up now...cos there still seems to be an unknown force which is pushing me forward pushing me on...dunno how to describe...
but i am ok...actually...sad is sad la...stress of course is stress...but after some moments of rest and relax...listen to more hito songs which can push me on...i will be back to the same usual me again...lol...
在我的天顶 甘有人会看见
看到我不甘愿这样过一生
在我的一生 我甘愿来相信
每一朵花都有自己的春天
在我的天顶 大雨落不停
也不能改变到我的固执
永远等待 那一日 咱可以出头天
人生不怕风浪 只怕自己没志气
那一日 咱可以出头天
我盼望的日子 会真快 来到我身边
在我的天顶 甘有人在保佑
怎样我常常摔的头壳流血
血乾会结痂 失败也不失志
成功是咱自己看自己得起
飘浪的日子 等待著时机
我不信命运会这麼无情
永远等待 那一日 咱可以出头天
人生不怕风浪 只怕自己没志气
那一日 咱可以出头天
我盼望的日子 会真快 来到我身边
出头天lyrics...must read the lyrics in hokkien way...cos is hokkien song ma...lol...haha...nice right...i believe strongly tt 我盼望的日子 会真快 来到我身边!!!!
to believe...is the strength to go on
23:23
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Wednesday, October 01, 2008
5-day work week
Finally, it is the start of the brand new roster...of 5-day work week...longer working hours...but we have 2 rest days per week....u win some u lose some...this is how life goes...
2 rest days straight is indeed attracting...so this roster i see a lot of rest days...but...as man is forever greedy and demanding...my 2 rest days seem to pass very fast...and i conclude...no matter how much rest days i had..it is still not enough!!!
lol...aniwae...yesterday get to go out and shop...and of course meet up with janice...and on our way back...met candy on the bus too..it is surprising tt..everytime with janice...we will bump into candy...lol...aniwae...i am too lazy to upload photos now..next entry perhaps :)
the first day of this month roster was a terrible day for me...thus i am glad tt this 2 rest days came fast...work starts from 7am as usual..and it is supposedly until 4pm for me...but i went home at 5pm instead...forever i cant seem to finish up my work...even though working hours had extended...i am even writing report at 4plus...when e afternoon shift had already started work halfway..i am still not yet done with mine...so all my entries are like late entries...and i had no time to serve all my afternoon meds too...everybody is helping me out in my work...because i cannot finish...haix...after i hand over my report...then realised tt there are more things i had not done...or there are so many things i had not done it right...so in e midst of writing report after tt...i almost cried out...tears in my eyes already...but of course i still manage to swallow back all my tears...
this is e fifth month already...probation may be ending soon...or maybe i wont get throught it after all...but there are still a lot of things i had not done right..or i had not learnt or know...pardon me...but i really feel useless sometimes...and sometimes there are simply too much things to focus and get it done...and i will miss out or even mess up...write until i feel like crying...this is e first encounter actually...but i never told anyone actually...i did not show it all to anyone too....
but thinking back when i get home...at least i did my work already...so nothing to cry or to be sad about...mistakes...i will remember and not commit next time...speed..i will try to do things faster next time...and i actually did quite a lot of things actually...more than my usual routine le...cos there are so many patients gg for procedures...there is a transfer case from ccu (ya...at this odd timing)...and there is this chest tube insertion which takes up most of my time...haix...tomorrow will be better...
sat will be rest day again..lol...so good right...work 2 days then rest again...and is my sis birthday as well...so shall stay at home to celebrate with her...
ok..enough of crap here le...get back to my show...
and ya...so many happenings now...jay chou's new album coming out on 9th...and mayday's new album will start preorder at 8th (in tw la)...whoa...lots of excitement and look forward again...cool...haha...
22:40
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