Thursday, May 29, 2008

i am a staff nurse!!

today is the first official day tt i took cases..haha...a bit late la i noe...but no choice...need to familarise with junior work first...and our ward is quite shortage of juniors...but today still not bad la...cos i only took 2 cases...lol...very little...so quite free...and it is wierd when writing report...cannot right 'nyp yr 3 tan shi hwee' le...must write 'sn tan shi hwee'...hehe..so wierd...i wish to get my chop faster...so can chop my name there dun need to write...lol

hehe...so the whole box quite heavy...bout 3.5kg...haix...i am just spending too much..but nvr mind..i am soooo happy...tt all these things are mine now..yeah...i am gg to explore and look at them now...so bye...haha...

21:55

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

here i am

oopss...i failed to update everyday as i said le...but really...really...no time plus too tired...though i will still be online every night...but i am just a little lazy to go to blogger to type...lol...especially these two days...doing junior work at ward...omg...this is really tiring me out!!!!...running here and there like mad...rushing to get every thing done...i cant believe they left me alone to do junior work...but today slightly better..got others to help...if not i can die...18 patients...just doing parameters alone can die le...

(in nuh...haix...i sorta like this uniform more than e new one...
though i look so auntie..lol)

21:51

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

payday

whoa..i finally got my pay lo...haha...not very much...but i am still happy le...

such a tired day today...afternoon to morning shift...tmr morning shift again...

watched JUMP! dvd soon after i got home today...specially go to bp plaza to buy...haix...in e end...i watch until i fell asleep...but not because it is boring or wat (definitely not!!)...but because i am just too tired...my eyelids dropping...

i am too tired to blog anything now...tmr i will update with pics again..nightx...

22:11

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

graduation day

i promised to update here frequently...whenever i can...or perhaps daily...so here i am :)

today is the long anticipated graduation day...for school of health science students of class 2008...sorta sad to graduate...i am officially not a student anymore...but a working adult...i will miss my school..my course group mates...

though today is an off day...i still felt tired...been out for the whole day...left home at 0730...reached home at 2015...more than 12 hours outside...thus the whole rest day is a straining day after all...

though i didnt join wes they all for k at chinatown..i enjoyed myself very much with huiwen and candy too...hehe...13 years of friendship is indeed no joke...really appreciate them to specially accompany me today...had a lot of fun singing at kbox JE...hehe...

tmr is afternoon shift..and sat is morning shift...i am already feeling the tiredness approaching...but nonetheless...i guess i could get a good sleep tonight...

hopefully pay will be in tmr too...

shall update photos when i get them from others...i only have a few...hmmm...so pls...anyone who see this...remember to send today's photos to me hor...

22nd may 2008...i will remember this date :)

22:28

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

grad day tmr

it is yet another hot and humid day...

today spent my time mostly doing basic care...dressings...and as a porter..but it is fine with me..cos i get to enjoy the short moments of aircon at the cardiac and renal centre...but once u stepped out of there..whoa...is like having HOT wind blowing at u...

if air-conditioned place is a heaven now...my house is like hell....

lol...i think i am too used to the modern living environment le...imagine throwing me at a place with no air con or network..how am i gg to survive???

ok...exaggerating...i am living in a place with no air con...but what i meant is thoroughly without aircon...haha..like in a fully natural environment...think of how i used to say i wan to move to somewhere scenery beautiful..with e trees..waters..nature...walao..i take back all my words...i will definitely need aircon intermittently...and network...i need it continuously...lol...

tmr is grad day...finally here..e gown is super heavy..then still have to carry it walk about..sian-ed..and must wake up early again...reach by 0830...i definitely late de ba...lol...i dunno..i will try to go earlier..but because is gg to school..have this concept and myth tt it is ok to be late...dotx...this explains why i am late for many classes during school time..

spending money tmr again...buying a couple of things...but it is ok...think pay will arrive this fri..if not next monday...whoohoo...long anticipated and awaited pay...i have figured out how to spend it le..hmm..i guess...it will be ok to spend all this month ba...first month pay..not tt much ba...after calculating and deducting...i think it will be just enough to cover all my expenses and repay my loans...and i think i will be spending a big big portion on mayday stuff...i am crazy...tt's me...once i am into something..i will want to buy everything...but it is quite impossible..so i just have to pick and choose...but tt still adds up to quite a sum...hmmm...but i guess it is ok...yup...comforting myself...i am so looking forward to spend my money on these...dotx...scarly online shopping failed how??...what if e things got lost in air mail how???...lol...i am thinking too much...i havent even got e money yet...

but still..excited excited...hehe...so happy...must enjoy tmr !!!

22:15

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

ivc/ivm theory

Yesterday was such a hot night...i think i barely slept...woke up at 0630...then left for nuh at round 0700...on the way on bus...i was still quite alert and awake...listening to 心中无别人 many many times on my ipod...lol...addicted to this song...so happily reached nuh...

And now...it is still as hot...this hot and humid weather is indeed making ppl feel very frustrated...and of course...i doubt i can sleep well tonight...right now...i am very very very tired...or fatigue will be a better word...mentally and physically...

Reason: the ivc/ivm theory course today...lol...i used to be so 'fearless' when it comes to theory lesson or exams in e past...but this course...is indeed draining me out...i think i had not have any exam for long time le ba..so today...just go there attended theory and in e afternoon is the exam le...for both administering iv meds and cannulation and venepuncture...i have yet memorised or even read through e theorical part..i have yet look at the thick medication list...and there is e exam...lol...of cos...i doubt i will pass this attempt ba...haix...luckily got 3 attempts...

next wk will be e practical session...scary...hope everything will be fine...i dun wan to reattend e course again!!!...aniwae..one short incident to mention today...there is a blackout right after our test!!..lol...and i mean blackout...cannot see anything at all...at tt moment...surprisingly i am not really scared or wat...just felt a bit giddy...i am always feeling giddy i think...yesterday night also felt giddy (but my mum say is due to e earthquake at indonesia)...

aniwae..after course today...i happily went to JE to buy the supposedly to be out jump! concert dvd...apparently dun have la...maybe out on 22nd instead...haix..it better be out on tt day...if not i dun think i have time or any spare energy to watch le...cos is 9 days straight of work after the grad rest day...so ya la...waste my money and time today to travel down..but JE quite close to nuh la...haix...

i am tired...e weather is so hot...and i am sneezing away...lol..too dusty...i want to sleep now...yeah..nights...

(note: i am updating so often nowadays...haha..suddenly thought tt it is of no use to have a blog which u only update once rarely..lol..so i will find time to update regularly...be it is it on regular bo liao stuff...or my wierd imagination or thoughts...or whatever...while i still have e energy mood time to update...lol)

COUNTDOWN GRADUATION: ONE DAY!!!!...work hard tmr...and will be rest and fun day ahead lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22:11

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Monday, May 19, 2008

prince caspian

Two days of rest day really passes fast...i don't think i have rest well enough yet...stilll seriously lacking of sleep...had been sleeping like only 5 hours per day due to work...ok la...this 2 rest days slept slightly more le...but my energy had yet been refreshed or regained...lol...

Watched narnia...prince caspian today with siying...lol...again is tix won...this time from xin.sg...lol...is quite a good place to win things actually...given someone with rotten luck like me...hmmm..the movie is okay...but i think movies with sequeals had all the same problem...the first one will always be the best...and this applies here too...graphics plot climax..all i think is lacking in this prince caspian..but still..it is also a catchy movie for me la...at least i stayed focus in this movie throughout...lol...since it caught my attention span for 2.5 hours...so should be not bad ba..

but again..i am not good at rating movies or shows or what...well..a lot of things i will find it nice de...be it shows or food...i dont really have high criteria for all these things...perhaps i am too ordinary ba...lol...aniwae..one thing nice about this movie is that there is again war scenes like e first one..well..of course i dont like war or what...but shows with ppl fighting together as one..charging forward..whoa...sorta touches me a lot...e spirit of living as one...loyalty...hmmm...tt is magnificant..

aniwae..shall sleep earlier today...tmr will be one whole full day of course...ivm/ivc...i dun wan to fall asleep in between...and i dun wan to fail!!!...lol..then wed will be morning shift...yet again...then thurs will be grad day...whoa...looking forward to it...haha...my 2 beloved friends will be kindly supporting me...hehe...(pls dun pang-seh me hor)...but say a big thank you here first!!!!..to candy and huiwen...for forking out a portion of their slacking time for me...lol...

although i said in earlier post tt i will not read e newspaper for the time being...i still did..contradicting...is hard not to read when e headlines are still being magnified...yup...it is saddening...everyone in e whole world is saddened and depressed about this (who will not be???)...e biggest suffering or ordeal will always be bestowed to those who lived or survived...i mean...e dead..are dead...but those alive...how are they gg to live on??..ok..i should not say this...but sometimes...it is really better to just leave...or let go...or die...at least e sufferings will end...but well..of course...e best is still to live on...my saying for this...there is no definite heaven when u die...but there is definitely hope to create your own heaven when u live...yup..hope is e magic word ba...

hope tt sufferings will be over fast...hope more ppl can be saved...hope that ppl who survive can really live on with hope...

ok...i shall sleep now...

22:14

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

saddening news

the world is still currently surrounded by a mist of sorrow now...and i guess...it wont clear up for the time being...

it is sad to hear or say this...but it is indeed true that...no matter how high technology is now...no matter how intelligent ppl think they are...no matter how we think we are prepared to face any events...we can never win the nature...

the longer we lived...the scarier we find the world...

the more we discover...the more we know how little we know about this world...

read two pages of the newspaper b4 i went out for work today..should not have read...spoil my mood for the whole day...imagine stepping out of the house with red eyes...so upon finishing e second page...decided to throw e newspaper aside..

i am not going to read e papers for the time being...i am not going to hear radio for the time being...i am not going to watch the news for the time being...

i decided to be BLIND AND DEAF for the time being...

not that i am cold-blooded...not that i am not sympathizing with e ppl in china...

is because...i feel too much for them...i feel so sad when i read the news and see the pictures...

is because whenever i see or hear...my tears will drop...

i am not present there...neither my friends or family is there...i am not related to there at all actually...yet i feel as if everyone close to me is gone...yet i have the feeling that those deaths are related to me...yet i feel so sad...

as i mentioned previously...my passion for nursing was once again brought back...

i suddenly remembered my hasty decision for nursing was not that hasty after all...i suddenly remembered why i chose nursing and insisted on it that time...

i suddenly...and finally remembered...

and i am glad i have made this choice...

silent prayers now again...

this time pray not for e dead...but for e alive...pray that they can find their new goals and dreams in life once again so as to motivate them to live on bravely...

to live on stronger ever...to believe not in heaven..but to believe hope in life...

21:02

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

silent prayers

i should have written this post earlier...but it had not really 'impacted' me so much until just now la...everyone should know by now...about e big earthquake at china...i noe it when it happened too...but i never expected it to be such a big big disaster...

upon reading the newspaper today...and seeing all the pictures of e scene...dunno why...really cried out lo...feels so terrible to see all that...ppl being burried alive...can u imagine tt???

suddenly this brings e passion of nursing back to me once over again...

natural disaster are so horrible...unpredictable...and it brings away ur loved ones from u in a second...what is worst???...is those who dun even noe whether the loved ones are still alive or not....

sincerely hoped tt more lives can be saved...especially those school kids whom are still underneath those cruel collapsed buildings...i always thought tt it is so unfair for young children or teenagers to meet with such things...if natural disaster is what u call a 'retribution' for doing so much harm to earth...what is it got to do with young kids???..who may not even seen e world yet..

lets pray silently for them at heart...

tomorrow will be a better day :)

20:28

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

never let me go

never let me go...

title of a novel which i had just read finished...

romance???...touching love story???

actually...the title itself looks quite chim ba...cos had a few friends telling me that...when i borrowed this book...also got attracted by its title...so without knowing what is it all about...i just borrowed it...it was when i read e summary of e book then i realised is about clones and organ donation thinggi...

so is a fiction...purely fiction book (up till now la)...or a rather scary book too...

as said...is about clones...it talks about a school existing..which harbour all these clones...they exist just like us..human beings...study grow up...but their fate is fixed...they will all eventually die...as they will all become organ donators when they grow up...yup...slowly die due to their organs being taken away one at a time...scary isnt it???...

of course...is purely fiction like what i said...

one thing to mention...e book i borrowed is defective...and i found it when i read to e 'end'..ermm..or rather to say..i nvr actually finish tt book...cos is not complete...printing error...e pages just got cut off at e end...so i was like..read 4/5 then stuck...dotx...how they can publish like tt???...but nvr mind...i get e whole idea of the book already...so i guess..just close one eye ba..haix...

work start...and i am getting lazier to read on...lol...but still borrowed interesting novels again...just tt i am too tired to stare at e words and absorb and think like past...u dun only need eye power to read..u need ur brain power...to analyse and think...and heart power...to feel...haix...think i will only read during rest days le...

must prepare for ivc and ivm course next wk...haix...so thick e notes...read until i want to sleep le..but no choice...next wk grad oso confirm off day le...yeah...but after tt had to work 9 days straight...sianed...but this month only morning and afternoon shifts la..so not tt bad..and all 3 of us (new staff) together :) ...hehe..got companion...ok..shall not stay up too late..tmr still must wake up early...nitex...sleep well (to me)

22:55

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Sunday, May 11, 2008

work work work

One week of orientation ended soo fast...is back to ward tmr le...sian-ed...orientation is so nice de lor...although i will sometimes fall asleep or wad...but at least...u get paid by just sitting there...haha...and with free food during tea breaks too...miss last wk...

orientation group mates :)

22:00

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

an end yet a start

Had been reading all my previous blog posts....think i started having this blog since i was 18yrs old...and now i am 20 le...so fast...i am degenerating...lol...it is a good thing tt i have this blog...since i will definitely be too lazy to write a diary...having a blog online is a good choice...reading back previous entries...brings back a lot of memories as well as some feelings...

today marks the last day and an end to my student life...yet tmr marks a start...a new beginning to a brand new working life...of cos...i am not exactly anticipating tt...but i am not dreading it either...everyone goes through e same life process...is only a matter of time...and i will be moving to a new milestone...new stage of my life soon...

Unlike e past...i am not scared or stress about tmr at all...used to dread attachment times...used to dread gg back to e hosp again...but now...strangely...these feelings are not there...neither feelings of anticipation or joy is there either...a simple word...indifferent...yup...i feel nothing at all now...well...feeling of nothing...is it a bad feeling????...how can one feel nothing at all???...perhaps i am already accepting the fact that i had to work le...no likes no hates...just accept...accept what is given..accept what is ahead..

ok...aniwae...my old prob of not sleeping is back again...i am feeling more energized as the night gets darker...oops...not a good sign definitely...cos i need to wake up early tmr...and if i start working shifts..i need to wake up real early..haix..this is really bad le..i am one who likes late nights lo...e darker..e later...e 'quieter'..e better...lol...

better dun crap anymore longer..e clock reads 1148 now...i shall get to my bed le...and i predict the time which i really drift into dreamland will be 2-3 hours later...

tmr morning call will be 0640...yoz..a new start...an early start...jiayou lo...nitex...

23:36

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Friday, May 02, 2008

168th post

well..this is my 168th post...haha...which resembles to mayday's first large scale concert on taiwan...ermmm...ok...pardon me...i am at it once again...well...this is only a random starting..haha...soon...i will get over e post mayday concert syndrome and get back to the normal routine life...so attending their concert entitled down to earth is oso a good choice after all...cos after tt...i am really going to get down to earth...or rather get down to work...haix...

i tink all will agree...this is really a difficult and big transition to one's life...to end studies officially and become a full time working adult...adult...oh man...this is really scary...everyone who knows me well enough will definitely agree with me tt...i am like dunno how many billion light years away from e word adult...

but still...be it u are a child or adult at heart...when e age and time comes...u will still have to face it and start working...but no worries still...given my character...i bet i will still be as childish 10 years down e road...i will still be e crazy gal who likes to joke or suan others...sing and jump about when real high..and spend money and time to support those artists and pop stars...lol...of course...all these images will surface only i am with friends tt i am comfortable with...lol

spent this last wk of hol fruitfully..e only day tt i stayed fully at home is today...i cant imagine e faces of my parents if i say i am gg out again...lol...just see this...

25th april: shopping with mum at imm
26th april : mayday concert (left home at like 3.30pm and reached home at 1am)
27th aprill: autograph session (left home 10am reached like 4-5pm ba)
28th april: shopping with janice (left home at like 1030am then back at round 8+pm)
29th april: kbox and gym session with janice (left home 1030am and back at 8.30pm like tt)
30th april: kbox with simwes joanne and one of their friend (left home 7pm..and stayed out e whole night)
1st may: at joanne's house...and dim sum at chinatown..(reached home at 5.30pm)
2nd may: decided to stay at home...but i used internet e whole day...lol...12pm until now...

haha...tt's how 'wild' i am compared to my sis..cos for my sis...she wont go out at all unless school or what...(or e concert which i treat her to)....and yup..she is e good obedient kid in e eyes of my parents...whereas i am e one who always go out..spend money...not mature...and likes to talk back...haix...tt's how sucky it is...

aniwae...one stupid thind which happened to me on labour day...while waiting for bus to go home..at e outrum there...i waited like 40mins b4 i board a 174...not tt e bus is slow or wad..is just...i dunno what to say...i actually see and just let 2 of e buses zoom past in front of my eyes...lol...i dunno if they are too quick or i am too slow..first time i was reading something..and tt bus just drove past..ok..acceptable..i am not focussing what...then e second time...i just only look down for 1s only lor...and e bus just zoom by again...diao..same thing happening 2 times...lol...of cos...i am not so stupid le la..learnt my lesson...so just keep focussing on e road...and finally...board e bus home..lol...

ok...sidetrack again...back to main topic...just wanna say really enjoyed my last wk of hol to the max...everyday so well spent to me...and everyday i am feeling so happy and contented..hehe...singing k two days straight really shiok oso...just loved singing...first day sing is more serious...haha...2nd day...ermmm...maybe is night time le...maybe my voice havent recover or wad...i am just pratically dancing on e sofa with sim wes..lol...but very fun still...haha...rarely u get friends to do stupid moves with u and not feeling paiseh or wad...haha...

next wk is officially work le...actually quite looking forward to it le...haha...cos i am seriously in need of money...but...hoped i can get use to working life...as a staff nurse somemore...cannot depend on others anymore...cannot everything ask oso...haix...

just saw e blog ashin updated today..about exam one...haha...he makes it sound tt exam is freaking scary or wad..maybe i am wierd or wad la..i nvr feared exams or wad since young le...maybe just a little frustrated...and sometimes will just have e feeling to tear up every pages of the textbook...cos exams are really meaningless to me...it is just a stupid ranking system to see how much can u memorise from e textbook...but then..when u go out to work or wad...u will soon realise tt every qns tt appear in e exam papers are just qns...which will not appear in your working life...who in e earth need to memorise stupid mathematics formulas or wat to work??...lol..although exams are freaking useless to me...but is a enjoyable process of studying nonetheless...just see la...mugging real hard for a paper..go to e exam hall...throw everything out like merlion..then wait for results...see results and be happy (ok..dun talk about e other extreme)...is still a fruitful thing...to see e results of what u have put effort in...really...exams may be e only thing left in e world tt fulfil e saying of input=output...what u put in what u get (at least this is what applies to me)...but in other aspects of life...is almost hundred percent tt this saying is useless...input never will equate to output...tt is quite sad isnt it???...if only i am starting exam next wk and not work...haix...

aniwae...student life is over for me...and i dun think i will get back to it so soon or what...work to me now..is still a tool to earn some cash or wad...exchanging time for money...ok..this dun sound good...but this is currently my idea of work now...perhaps when i start work...i will be able to find a more definite direction to what i want...but for now..i am still a person with no obvious dreams...just working for e sake of working and living an aimless life...of course..i am not gg to stop at here only...one day...i will be able to find out what i really want to do...

e world is so big...definitely there will be someone...somewhere...and something...which is meant for u someday...

21:27

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Shi Hwee
CS Yr 4 in NTU

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