Thursday, June 30, 2011
senior??!!
Work is quite eventful today. Actually, it is hard to find moments to slack and rest at work recently. Every single moment is filled with things to do things to complete. Lots of paperwork to be done, and no matter how many quality checks I've done, there are still bound to be errors found. Did two venepunctures today which made my hand shake, stressful really. WHEN they are demanding. Dunno why there are just people who will make people round them feel stressed up. Imagine someone looking, no I should say staring, at you so hard when u are taking blood. How not to be stressed? Totally having cold sweat le.
One more week at work. To be exact is 5 more days. Haix, I still feel a bit down about leaving. Already used to the environment and people, and somemore familiar with all the work stuff. Haix. Contradicting again. So much so for talking about change everytime.
Ya, I still dunno what I want actually.
One month to start of school. Around 1+ week to FOC. Received call just now re: FOC details. Hearing the word senior makes me more hesitant. Haix, I think I am really overaged lo.
成功是什么？就是在要放弃的时候，再坚持一下. Dunno where I saw this sentence before. Applies to my situation totally right now. Just hang on a while more I supposed? Things may not be as bad as I think. Since I can get along with people 4-8 years older than me, perhaps it is not a problem to get along with people 3-4 years younger than me???? I dunno, maybe getting with seniors are easier as I do have a matured thinking as well, haha, though my behavior maybe childish at times.
Anyway, everything gonna be alright, tmr will be fine. 重要的是，活好当下，珍惜生命所给予的每一天。Well, ya, I think it is time for me to read more books again. Haha, shall drop by kino someday.
Tomorrow is an early day again. Hmmm, just hope the bus won't be too full??
22:19
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Wednesday, June 29, 2011
one more week
One more week before official rest. The feeling of uncertainty is increasing. I think I just dun have any idea of what I really want in life?? I dunno why am I feeling fearful of the school, or the course that I am going to study. I just dun have any idea of what am I exactly going through. Dun want to feel emo, but can't help but to think a little more. I guess all these feelings will stay on until the real start of school. I am just a worrier. Hahha.
Going to work is great as usual. Tired ya, but manageable. The part that I am in charge of is coming to an end. Now is all the paper work stuff only. Dun quite enjoy it though as the folders and papers are injuring my hand and fingers, and did I ever mention that I think each folder weighs like 3-4kg already?? Super thick and heavy.
Ending on 7th july. 8th is a rest day instead. Which I dunno why, dun bother to change anything as well. My nice colleagues have kindly taken half day off on 8th to go out and play with me. Yippee!!! They are really nice people, and I know I am really gonna miss them lots.
Now is like a bridging period. ANd I think I am walking blindfolded. Cannot see the end clearly, yet this is what I've chosen. I have already chosen something wrong 6years ago, now the same situation lies ahead of me again. Hopefully, I am correct. Haix, mind in a mess now. Cannot think clearly and properly.
Meanwhile, just live life happily blindly.
19:02
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Sunday, June 19, 2011
still fatigue
The one and only rest day is gone just like that. I still felt that I had not slept enough yet. 12 days of working is tiring really. And it is really not as easy as what others may think it is. Now thinking about tmr gives me jitters already. Palpitation is the word to use. Hope for a good night sleep today and no more nightmares about work. Very long since I have this problem, last time was when I was still working in ward. Well, 3 more weeks to go. That is 21 days, or maybe lesser than that excluding the weekends. Please, pass more quickly.
Wed going to visit NTU to submit some forms and do health examination. Gotta drink lots of water this time. I don't want protein trace in my urine again. One good way is to drink lots of water. Hahaha. I think this week gonna be a busy week. Work from mon to fri. Wed will be halfday since I going to NTU in afternoon. Tmr gonna meet reg and gang. ANd we going to sing. Long time since we stepped into kbox. Quite a while since we met up. Hahaha.
Speaking about NTU, I am really starting school real soon. LEss than 2months. This stresses me up as well, since I am gonna be an overage student. ANd studying things which I am totally unfamilar with. The whole issue of maybe I should have put science as my first choice instead keeps popping up in my head. Oh well, I am just being contradicting I know. Still unbelievable that I am really going to study that course. Is that so for most cases? That once u have gotten the thing that u really really really want in life, then u will feel empty? Empty in a sense that the goal that u have always worked towards was finally attained, and u have nothing ahead to achieve. Life suddenly loses its meaning and u really dunno what to look forward to ahead?? Weird. I think I have some feeling like this. Of course not that extreme that I find no meaning in life anymore. Still a lot of things for me to look forward to. I just felt empty as life has been too smooth sailing recently. Too good to be true?
Confirmed last day is on 8th july as an extended agency role. Some sort like a full time staff, cos u work everyday. Just that u still draw hourly pay. But it is not the last day I will be working there la. I still will work there as a normal agency nurse ba. That is the tentative plan. Intended to go for my faculty FOC. 5days camp. Really sounds scary to me. 3d is bad enough idea for me, now this is a 5days one. Dunno how am I going to blend in? Which I know I have to. Meet new people all over again, and meet people so young. LOL. I have always been exposed in environment where people are all older than me. Be it in poly, ward or now working place. The idea of meeting whole new people again is frightening really. Well I supposed I will have age gap of 3-4 years with the people there. Sian-ed. No choice, see how ba. Walk one step see one step. Current plan is mainly to know more people in foc, and also hopefully to join hall camp as well. If I stay in hall of course.
Good that I will end in early july for work. I think I need some time to recharge myself. Dun want to have this shagged look when I go to school when others are looking bright and full of energy. I think working have driven me more years older than what I am now. So, I need to rest. Hahhahaa.
22:38
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Fatigue
I am tired! Posting this on my 9th working day. 3 more days to go still. Finally received the matriculation package from NTU, 2 sets somemore. Quite a no of forms to fill up. Then need to submit to the school itself also. Next wed is medical examination. Confirmed that after 8th July I will not be working. At least not full time working. Haven't decided on a short getaway destination yet. I need to surf the net more to explore, but too tired to do so.
Haix....July pls come quickly.
11:39
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Sunday, June 12, 2011
Early morning
Sleep never seems to be enough. I think I must be flooding myself with too much work. Working every single day really isn't a very good idea. Nonetheless, my working days are coming to an end soon, real soon. So I guess I should just stop moaning and complaining?? My next off day is next Sunday, sadded though. It is 12 working days actually. I am just to engrossed by the fact tt I need lots if money when I start school, so the best time to earn, is now of course!
I have more or less decided to work till 8th July only, les than a month to go. Haven't inform any boss yet though. Still thinking a bit. I seemed to need to rest before school, but I want to earn more as well. Hard choice yo. Anyway the Taiwan trip is off, Emily cannot make it. A bit sad, but never mind more chances to come. Now is planning of a short getaway trip, no places in mind though. I think my heart is still at Taiwan. Lol.
On e bus now to work, still feeling fatigue and lethargic. Never sleep well yesterday. Had a nice dinner yesterday though. Loves to eat crab now. Haha. But no black pepper crab for the moment. I think my body is still 'heaty' from the black pepper crab I had in JB last week. Haix, tired tired tired. I can sleep almost anywhere now, standing also can doze off. Haix.
Never mind. A lot of things to anticipate for. Living a life with goals is really great. I hope my life will be fuller and more meaningful when I start sch . Oh ya, the matriculation package sadly has not come yet. Probably next week?? Hope I have the time and energy to slowly read through.
06:58
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Sunday, June 05, 2011
7th day of work
Today marks the 7th day of working straight for me. Ok la, nothing new for me since I worked before 8 days straight when in ward. A bit tired physically, but tolerable. This is the last chance for me to earn more money b4 school starts lo. Work has been heavier than usual, still manageable though feeling a bit stress up le. Even so, thinking bout a whole new life and experience in aug, everything seems easier.
Going to plan my trip to Taiwan, yes again! Haven't ask my dad yet, but I am quite set to go. In July, but dates not decided yet. Need a break from work and b4 school. Thought that I can work till the last minute then start school the next day, but judging from circumstances now, it is a bit impossible. I dun wan to look shag when in school. Lol. Thanks to Emily for being so on for my sudden decision to tw. I expected a no answer, hahaha, but end up she is keen as well. But of cos subjected to parents opinion. Same as me. But nonetheless, I am already happy and excited. Think bout the food and stressless days there, waaaa, anticipating. Hope everything turns up fine, hope the airfares will not go up too much by next week. We need to know our orientation camp dates before booking tix ma. Current airfares is 432 only! Plus hotel adds up to round 600, super worth to go le. Excited excited.
Rainy morning. Nice to sleep lehx, but I already on bus on the way to work. Tmr is finally my rest day, one day! Plan is to watch kungfu panda. Hahaha. Tues to sun is all work. Followed by the next Monday to fri work again. Think le a bit scared, isn't that 11days of working straight?? Hmmm, dun think too much first, maybe got rest day in between.
A lot of things worth anticipating now.
1) kiv tw trip
2) magic power/yenj/ding dang concert in sep
3) new albums of magic power ad mayday
4) 3dna
5) school!
The prelude to 3dna is fantastic! They used the climax of 温柔。我给你自由，我给你自由，我给你全部全部全部自由....Arhx!!! So nice ok, miss their concerts. My mental booster. Haha, I need some strength from them!!!!
Ok reach work place le, shall not continue anymore.
07:13
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