Shi Hwee

Sunday, May 27, 2007

confused

Hmm..tired day...slept too late yesterday at 3am...due to watching of 'lame' shows...but i chose to watch tt though...really need to add some laughter to my boring life now...i am getting quite irritable nowadays...a lot of things i cant stand..of cos i wont verbally express them out..but i guess my body language says it all...after all msg conveyed through body language e most...whereas words are in a sense quite meaningless...words can easily mislead others...but i guess body language wont...words may not exactly tally with heart..hmm..so what nonsence am i speaking now???

Haix...i guess i really need to find more uplifts to my life now...and at e same time...oso stop thinking bout those negative things...or even not to think so much or wad...i dunno why...but i guess is really hard to trust...why is that so???...i dun like to doubt others...but it just happens always...i dun remember myself being hurt by lies or watever similar things...so what exactly is e reason for me being so mindful and wary of ppl and their words...perhaps i hav been hurt b4..but i chose to 4get bout it...so now i dun remember a shit now..well...i dunno...maybe is because i watched too much shows...negative media influence...lolx...but life is a show isnt it???...99% of ppl are acting always...its a norm to act...everyone is doing it...thus its almost impossible to differentiate true from false...who is real and who is not...who knows...even e person may not know either...we are losing ourselves in this hectic world...is there really a self in the 1st place???..

ok..i am getting depressive here...thinking too much again...tired physically and mentally...what u call tt???..a breakdown??...haha..nope ba..i am not tt hopeless yet...jux confused bout e reality of this world...perhaps i should not read too much into ppl's mind or words...close one eye ba...a foolish and not so clever person is better than a clever person...a clever person tends to think too much...of cos i am not saying i am clever or wad...i maybe smarter in academic...but totally hopeless in other worldly matters...i am bad at speech..bad at communicating...even bad at expressing what i really wan to say...utterly timid person i think...i dare to scold in my mind...but not out of my mouth...if only i am braver...maybe i can be more happier..i dunno...

what i really wan to say in this entry??...haix...i dunno either..maybe i am jux trying to express out some of my confuse thoughts..however i dun even noe wad exactly am i mindful about??...i dunno wad i wan exactly...or maybe as someone calls it...i dunno anything...izzit really bad not to know anything????...well..to me i guess is ok...maybe not to others...different opinions ma....but knowing too much is not necessarily a good thing either...or is it i chose not to know anything...well..i really DUNNO...

hmm..dont mind me...if can..totally ignore this entry ba...i hate NOW...but next moment will definitely be better..i know it...and one good thing about me...my anger wont last...bad things wont last in my memory....wait tmr....yes...it will all be fine tmr...

20:50


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