Shi Hwee

Friday, November 30, 2007

another wk gone

tmr is wkend again...and i am on duty again..sian-ed...i guess i hav to get used to this routine and stop my endless grumbling...plus...e esplanade performance is jux next sunday...and i actually cant go for anymore prac until tt day itself...oh great...really great...how am i gg to get through all this mess???...plus i havent submit e excuse letter to sister...she must be wondering what took me so long...haha...nvr mind..i shall give to her next wed when i got it on tues...sian-ed..hav to specially go down to sch to retrieve it when i still hav e tiring shifts on...imagine travelling from nuh back home...then from home (bukit batok) to nyp...then back to home again...my precious sleeping time will be sacrificed again...ok...no more complaints..

tmr back to ward...yeah...finally...haha..i am bored by e training leave thinggi...not tt it is no good la...jux tt e long hours make me very sleepy...nonetheless it is relaxing and not stressful unlike at ward...but still...i prefer shorter hours...haha...like shift time...tmr i wonder who i am following again...haix...my preceptor is not with me again...cos she jux finished her nights ba...dotx...3 weeks gone...and i seen her for 3 days...haha...funny sia...but i tink after this wk i will be strictly following her shifts le ba...hoped so...it is more stressful when u hav no one to follow and ask qns...and it is better to hav a preceptor around to teach...hehe...i hav sooooo many qns in mind to ask le...monday ask halfway...and she also answering halfway...cos it is late le...stayed back at ward until like almost 10pm le...i feel bad..for not being able to help much...so jux sit and observe lor...haix...i am learning things too slowly...and i dun understand a lot of things...i hope i will do better tmr...i sorta dislike morning shift more...due to e doctors' rounds...lol...i am always tongue-tied..stupid me....hmmm...but i will try hard to improve de...haha..

i realised tt these 3 weeks i hav been too stressed and hard on myself...keep having e negative thinking in my head tt i am not gg to make it for this attachment...so...i decided now...to be more positive in my thinking...other friends also said...it is only 3rd wk...it is still too early to say anything wad...hmmm...maybe i will think in this way too...if not i will be too scared at work...hav more confidence in myself ...yeah...tt's e thing...as long as i already tried hard...it is ok le ba...so even if...touchwood...i fail this posting...i noe i already put in my best effort...

these 3 weeks had been terrible for me actually..with e highly stress working environment..and e too high expectations i placed on myself (tt's what my mum say la..i am pushing myself too hard)...plus e unexpected death of my loved one...haix...i tink i am really too burnt out...so ended up i hav no appetite in all food...eating like one meal everyday...plus tt one meal contain like less than 1/4 bowl of rice...scared my mum tt she bring me to see doctor...then started taking med to improve my appetite and so on...thinking back so funny lor...haha...but after i hav tink it through and hav a good talk plus cry with my mum...i tink i hav really straighten out all my thinkings...stress is inevitable...death is inevitable...we will be sad and grief of cos..but we must walk out of it...i am already walking out of it...hehe...my appetite finally improved since yesterday...though i cant eat much...but at least i wont feel sick on e sight of food...lolx...imagine what a great eater i am in e past...haha

so currently now...quite a no of events i am looking forward to...such as performance on 9th dec at esplanade :) ....then my first night duty which is on 14th...haha...then christmas day...hehe...wonder if i can get off on tt day...???...but i already received a great present from my mum...she is really spending great money on tt...shocked me..lolx..plus on christmas i also want to get NDS lite...hehe...had been comparing PSP and NDS...but after playing stif's PSP for some time...i decided interactive games are more suitable for me...PSP make me feel headache lehx...haha...had to use brain even when playing...lolx...nonetheless...i like car racing with PSP la...lol...aniwae...tt's is e current plan for my whole dec ba...isn't it quite boring...???..but is ok...when attachment end at 1st dec...i can truely relax and play...and go taiwan...yeah!!!!...haha...ok...daydreaming now...i am back to my usual self once again...enough rantling....time to hit e pillows le..nitex...

20:47


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