Friday, February 22, 2008

Yup i noe...it is late le...(or rather early...lol)...once again...i broke my promise...to sleep by 1am...so as to resume a normal sleeping pattern as instructed by my mum...but i am jux too awake at night...i guess i need more time to adjust back...aniwae...i will attempt to sleep before 4am today...

Today is the 22nd day of my holiday...seriously..i havent done anything meaningful yet...and i also did not blog what i intended to blog...eg bout e CNY, more pics bout 56 autograph session...haix...i am becoming too LAZY!!!!...

Aniwae...the most memorable thing about e start of e new year (in lunar calender)...is being sick once again...i am resuming back my old days in childhood...tt is to eat chinese med everyday thrice...i remembered clearly how much i detest tt when i am young..just imagine drinking chinese med (powder form mixed in water) everyday...tt smell...and now...sadly...this routine is coming back again...of cos i tried to persuade my mum...i dont think anything is seriously wrong with me..but she just insists tt i must 调理 my health so tt i will not 'collapse' when i start work in april...lol...so no choice...had to go see e TCM doctor..i taught he would say something nicer...but nope...he says i am too weak..and every part of my body got prob like tt...but i thought i am quite ok de lor..like i seldom fall sick or wad...jux hav sensitive nose tt's all...but no...things are just so unpredictable..just when i argued tt i am healthy...i fall sick one wk later...i did not eat anything for like 3 days...vomiting plus diarrhoea...and yeah...i lost weight again...haix..perhaps i am not so strong as i think...especially after e 3 tough months of attachment...my appetite seriously plunged down...and i had lost e weight which i gained over 3 years in just 3 months...so how am i gg to survive when i officially start work in april 7th????

sometimes i feel tt my family dont exactly understand what i want seriously...maybe me myself dunno also...when successfully completed this diploma...most ppl will move on to their next goal...maybe to concentrate in career or study once again...but i tink i am lost now...i seemed to lost e goal of my life...yup e next life event in my life will be to start out as a staff nurse in less than 2 months time...it should be a new goal or challenge supposedly...but i just cant put myself on this track...meaning...i really cant see any future of me walking this road...oops...this sounds a bit serious...but sadly..tt's what i feel now...maybe i will be able to experience more when start work later...maybe i will then find out what i want...but one thing i am certain is...i wont stay in this path for e rest of my life..总觉得我的人生不应该只停留在这...but of course.now..i will just stick to e conventional working path first...maybe as i read and see more...i will be able to discover more new interests or goals tt i want...

aniwae...this holiday...my intended plan is to travel out of singapore actually...but apparently...this is not e case la...haha...though i will very much like to travel round...there are just too many constraints...so...to 望梅止渴...bought a book yesterday...haha...written by ashin..quite a meaningful book to me...e theme is special...and it actually focuses on other aspects of japan instead of e usual stuff like food or entertainment (just e usual stuff when ones goes travelling la..)...so interesting book...though i havent read finished yet...would share more when i finished ba....

(personally...i loved e cover page...unique in a sense)

(tt's e back)