Saturday, February 14, 2009
bad day at work
Today spent a bad day at work...firstly..i was too tired because yesterday only left the ward around 2230, and slept at 0030...so during dr's rounds i was so tired and sleepy...then the whole day i never ate a single thing because i was so busy with changes...talking to relatives...discharges...phonecalls...then worse of all...my patient had to fall at such time...in a case which i totally unaware of...so had to answer to coordinator all that...i hate to face all this...makes me wanna cry so much...and seriously...i am expecting my reprimands later next week ba...
I dun understand why such things had to happen...i dunno whose fault is it??..and i dunno what to do at all...just when i feel a bit passion for my work...just when i start to like gg to work a little...just when i feel ok with my ward...such things like this will happen and dampen all my spirits once again...now i start to have this questioning again...whether i am really suitable for this job??...whether i want to stay on at all???...sometimes...it just take an incident like this to make me question myself once again...and start having doubts...when i just started learning how to face work in a more 'relax' and positive way...such things will happen to make me fear to go to work once again...and makes me think so much until i am so troubled...haix...i guess i am still feeling a bit traumatised now...just thinking i feel like tearing again...luckily nothing happen to my patient...if not...i may just decide not to work in this line after all...
I don't know la...right now...i am still feeling depressed...maybe after a few days of thinking ....i will be back to normal again...but meanwhile...i guess i will still have to face questioning over and over again..and reminders of this incident over and over again...cos it is written in e ward message book...so it will be passed on over and over for this few weeks...so i guess i will be hearing comments over and over again...i just hope that my tears wont drop or what...i had a low tolerance for tears unfortunately...
what a great valentine's day right??...somemore today supposed to be my off day...went back to work OT..in e end must face with all this...sad...sad...sad
aniwae...i was so tired when i reach home tt i fell asleep sitting on the chair...lol..then slept for a while after dinner too...so now...still awake...tmr will be morning shift again...hope everything is fine...haix...see...my fear for work is started acting le...was watching some taiwanese show on tv just now...omg...they really can film all types of show...it was about a family argueing on tv...talking about their problems..ended up they were shouting...scolding and pushing each other on tv...so drama...supposedly...the son and his wife having some probs...the wife being pregnant...and child is not his cos he is diagnosed infertile...then end up e child seems to be the father-in-law's one...then the father in law and his wife were shouting screaming...denying...divorce la...all those issues...lol...this type of show also have ah....and worse of all...still got ppl willing to go there and showcase their problems to the whole world...like so wierd lo...it is not a fantastic thing to broadcast about ba...how to face ppl next time??..lol...one word...ridiculous...
now i am getting sleepy again le..should sleep to prepare for tmr's work la...but i know i definitely cannot get to sleep de...my stupid brain will definitely think a lot until i end up getting a sleepless night again..sian-ed...really sian
22:58
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