Friday, March 13, 2009
end of roster
Two days more before the end of this roster...but i still have not gotten my next roster yet!!!...i think it is out today le ba...since tmr is already saturday le...but i am off today...so cannot see it :(
lol...i am excited about the new roster..cos i wanna know what my shifts are...a lot of plans...but all are not fixed cos i dunno when are my off days...i can predict weekdays nights for me...hope i am wrong...i hate doing nights..especially weekday nights..cos is 4 nights in a row...after tt...i will be damm exhausted...somemore these few days i suffering from this toothache..lol...my face seems a bit swollen on e right side..i hope it is not wisdom tooth or what...i dun hav the time to go pluck my tooth or what...i hope it is just 'heaty' or what..lol...then today need to drink this big big cup...nope...is 3 big big cups of herbal tea...which looks like roots and black shit..dotx...not much use up till now..cos i still feel pain...sobs...
Anyway..a lot of plans...making me anticipating days ahead...good to have things to anticipate to...haha...but this time...low profile...lol...cannot make known too many things..anyway..i think this month a lot of birthdays gg on like tt...lol...i have ran out of ideas of birthday gifts to get...everyone seems to be holding birthday parties...and it is so hard to choose gifts which will please others..haix..aniwae...it is like 2months away from my birthday le...and i still get a treat 4days back...on monday...lol...happy +++...dinner at kushinbo...actually..i only thought of having dinner and go dutch de...in e end...i got a treat..a bit paiseh..cos it is not cheap...in fact it is epensive to me lo..40++ bucks for a dinner..hmmm..i should treat her back or get something nice...haha...aniwae...great thanks to emily...though she will not see this..haha
watched cape no.7 yesterday...funny movie to me..i think i kept laughing throughout...but it is nice la..everyone deserves to have their own dreams...and everyone has their chance to realise their own dreams..as long as they put in e effort...who says that u will fail??..when u haven't even put in some effort??..yup...you will never know after you try...
right now...i am just moving on with my monotonous life...no definite plans yet...no goals ahead...i still dunno what i want to do...but at least..i dun think i hate this job...but i still had no motivation to continue with it forever and ever yet...thus...i had not think of further education yet...at least not related to this job..hmm...maybe i should just wait and work for a year more...then see how...work is getting more challenging...with new IT stuff coming out...the E medication record is driving us nuts when it first came out..and now...there is this omni cell..E medication trolley??..something like tt la..aniwae...i can predict more frustration...but like what sister had said...we can survive through eimr...so we can survive through this as well..haha...lets see how..but i am glad that it had not started yet...maybe next week or what??..
my mum said i should not be spending all my money like that...should have savings..should have plans for ahead..blah blah blah...i know...i know...i really know...but right now...i still feel like doing things i enjoy first...i maybe spending a lot...but i feel this is the motivation that makes me still feel like continue working...continue striving...if i had lost this little wish...i am afraid i will find no meaning in working...all ppl have motives to work..definitely is for money...for income...but the money for what??...some for survival..some for better food...better living..some for their loved ones..some for their interests...their hobbies...since i am the type who like to travel...can i just work for the sake to travel???..i cant figure out what's wrong with this idea...well..i still give monthly contributions to the family..i am still eating well..providing for myself..so...can't i spend the rest on things i like..??..seriously...i am not very into the idea of saving all up...for the future or whatever??..cos right now...i cant even see my future...so what's the point of saving for the future...which is just a view of nothing...
Parents...definitely wont agree with my thinking..i have no plans to argue with them or what...well..they can be unhappy...but i dun see the reason why i should be unhappy just to make others happy...and i dun see the point why they would rather be happy to see me unhappy...well..simply...why can't they just let me do what i want??...well...not as if i am just lazing around...doing nothing and always wanting to enjoy and travel...i am also working very hard..i am not using other's money to play or what...i am using what is mine...and i already given u what u need...so why interfere in what i want??
Perhaps they dont understand ba..maybe i had not reach e age yet...had not reach the age or time when i need to think so much...life is so unpredictable...i really dun want to reach a point of time that i need to go...yet thinking back i had not even do things that i enjoy or what..
Work hard..play hard...i am not spending aimlessly or blindly..i am not a failure in maths or what...i have my own thinking..i have my own plans..i know what i am doing...how can one advance when there is someone pulling her back??..
Well..anyway...my point is...i am not some stupid fool who just spends without thinking...really hope my parents can just let me be myself...after all..how much leave i get in a year???..not that i am travelling out every single month or what...is like only once or twice in a year???...why cant this be done??..haix...
But ...dont get me wrong or what...i am not angry with them or what..haix...just want to say out some thoughts la..if not...suppressing too much..i may explode..lol..right now..enjoying myself..enjoying music...enjoying concerts...haha...long night ahead...qi-dai-ing tmr...and sunday of course... :)
21:55
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