Wednesday, December 02, 2009
last post before heading to taipei
Whoa...these 2 days had been good...i had this feeling that my luck is changing for the good...haha...i think nobody can imagine how suay i am for the past 2weeks...or rather for the month of november...everyday is spent in distress i think...and i cant help but cried once at ward...sometimes i feel my colleagues are mean to say i am a jinx...although i know i am quite unlucky...but it is still very saddening to hear words like tt...though i often laugh it over...but tt does not means i am ok with all those comments...不哭不代表不痛...but forget it..haix...sometimes...such things are like common sense lor...if they feel fun laughing at me then laugh lor..at most i laugh with them...but tt does not mean i am very ok...but i think they dun really understand..afterall they are my colleagues strictly speaking...well..a bit bad to say this...but friends and colleauges...have a difference after all...not say i dun like my colleagues...i love them all too...i love being with them...working/joking around with them...but sometimes when it comes to sensitive issues...or serious issues...the difference will set in...
Anyway...my mum knows i am very upset that i am labelled as a jinx at work...she is upset too i know...whatever la...i dun think i can stay for long either...as i said november is horrible...i cannot count how many bad encounters i had...i cant imagine i can be cool and calm when someone pass away or what...i dun want to be like that...but the more u see..the less u feel...i feel cold blooded sometimes...luckily tt's only when facing work etc...when it comes to familiar faces...i am actually 'glad' in a way that i still feel a pinch in my heart...well..at least this proves i am still alive afterall..boo...i think the best way to return back to the old me..is to leave...well...others may think i am just leaving for the sake of leaving...or i have not think through carefully...but i know very well in my heart what i really want...let them say all the one...tt's what i learn now...but no la..i am not planning to leave now...i cant do that...many reasons...main reason..life is not just about self...major part involves friends and family...if i just leave like that...how bout my family??...i am not from a rich family that i can just stay and home shake leg until i find other things to do...impossible lor...so i will like to stay as long as possible working...until my other option reaches..
well..wierd...everytime i have in mind to blog about one issue..i end up rambling about other things not related to what i really want to say...haha...anyway...now onwards will be rest for me until next mon...short rest of 5 days only..but i know i will enjoy myself de...haha...i am soooo excited about the saturday concert...although i will be sitting far..sobs...but nvr mind...i know i will still enjoy it...and there is an endless list of things to buy and food to try in my mind...lazy to list them all out..haha...nvr mind..shall do what i want to do for these 5 days...haha...throw work out of my mind...haha....
23:07
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