Friday, November 05, 2010
tension
Havent been updating for a while...quite busy with work recently...i think i am beginning to feel the tension as the timepoint comes nearer...timepoint...i think this is a word often used in research setting...haha...just that i am just not so used to it yet...keeping to time...while..i guess i am a known habitual latecomer...trying hard to kick away this bad habit...aniwae...the one thing i am not used to in work will be meeting...endless meetings...first...boring and it really puts me to sleep...suck my brain essence sometimes...making me headache...secondly...i still dun understand what they are talking about sometimes...thirdly...i hate to give comments on things...well...i guess i am still a highly unsociable person at work...haix...i think i may even look a bit stupid or blur ba...judging from the way they talked to me...i dunno...certain things they talk so easily and for granted...but i really dun understand...it is not something u can understand just by thinking through yourself...but sometimes i do feel their unwillingness to say more and hence making me to keep to myself more...well...i should not grumble much...interim...interim...haha...
but now it is not as bad as in the beginning...though i am a bit busier now...but at least i can grasp what they are saying now...and i am able to help to do some things now...but i still need more time to adapt...it is really a different setting...different work requirements..even u may be doing the same thing like in ward eg taking blood or doing ecg...the work processes are just so different...i dun like the idea that there are eyes staring at you sometimes...and i dun like the atmosphere that when they do debrief after a certain event i am the so-called bottleneck...it sounds offensive sometimes to me...but luckily i dun really mind...although it is a bit hurtful to hear such comments..i think i am just too stressed by them...i dun remember being so stress when taking a blood in ward...but now...it seems that i cannot make any miss at all..this is real stressful in my opinion..
aniwae...i will take things lightly from now...as in take all those comments lightly...i think tt is how the way they talk...loud and straight...although not pleasant...but i shall accomodate that...after all i really think we are from a different generation...i am not gg to blend into their generation's culture...because i know i am not gg to stay long there...sounds bad...but i still have my own path to go...but i am glad i chose a different aspect of nursing to try out...now i really know this job is not for me...be it facing healthy or sick ppl...it is just intolerable...
talk about rushing to the singapore hit awards last friday...it is just a last minute decision...buying tickets at 7pm...at vivo...show starting at 7.30pm at indoor stadium...pratically ran my way their...and gobbling up a burger outside the venue in 5mins time...just to see my fave idol getting price on stage...i must be crazy...but no regrets...love all the artists' performance...i was tearing when hebe is on stage talking about selina...i think their relationship is really very very close and good and i can feel how terrible she felt even though they won a lot of awards..but of cos my aim is to see magic power...well...though little fans around...but i am sure more ppl will know them in e future...admire ting ting's style of music and lyrics..admire's ga ga shuai-ness...like spongebob as much as gu gu...have hair as curly as lei bao...growing as fat as kai kai...getting taller like ah xiang...haha...though only sang one song...a bit wasted they drag their barang barang all the way here...but they sang it perfect :) awaiting their next album...
also heard the lousy chinese by some award presenters...felt a bit disgraceful actually...wrong pronounciation...nvr mind...say the artist's name wrongly somemore...i didnt know that singaporean's chineses level is getting so low..and i was a bit sad when the lyricist xiao han said something regarding chinese is not getting recognised in singapore etc...but she is still trying very hard to write more songs...and the efforts of all others who tried to get chinese more recognised here...it sorta confirmed my decision in going into chinese studies...yup 80% confirmed now...
aniwae...it is a rare long weekend...but sadly i am working on sunday half day...so long nvr work on sunday le...a bit weird...0730 somemore...so i cannot stay up late tmr???? lol...see how...gg to guihua's house tmr...ex colleague...and i did not realise that she just live 2streets from me...so near...haix...enough of words..getting back to my show...du xin shen tan...nice nice nice
22:03
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